Helping a coworker becomes exhausting when support slowly turns into constant dependence.

This remote employee spent months training a new teammate and helping her through recurring assignments.

During one overloaded week, several urgent projects forced her to set a temporary boundary for the first time.

See why that single moment changed both their friendship and working relationship.

AITA for not helping my coworker?

I work remotely on a small team. My boss is also a childhood friend, but I don’t get special treatment and I’m well-liked at work.

A few months ago we hired “Cat”.. She was supposed to help take on some of the recurring projects that normally bury me, including a monthly report (“Project X”).

So I trained her for months, and we connected really well outside of work. We became definitive friends, and she called me “her person”.

The important parts: we became close, and she became well versed on Project X.

But there were changes with Project X.

One week, leadership gave us new requirements for X and wanted a demo by Friday.

After the meeting, my boss pulled us into a post-meeting meeting to recap the plan in a more actionable sense.

Afterward, Cat DMed me asking for more clarity. I recapped the steps in another way.. But before she could ask more I got pulled into an urgent meeting for a different project (“Y”) that had to be finished by morning.

I told her I couldn’t keep helping with X today and she could either get started or wait for me.

Cat doesn’t seem like much help.

Project Y took me until midnight to finish. So my boss gave me the next day off, after I log in and submit Y.

But when I logged in that morning, another project (“Z”) had blown up.

I was the only one who knew how it worked, so I had to handle it immediately.

While I was knee-deep in that, Cat messaged again asking for help on Project X.

Cat seems unwilling to work on this project by herself.

At this point, I knew I wouldn’t be able to help her that day. We couldn’t afford to lose a whole day of progress either.

I told her I had spent the entire night on Y, was now stuck on Z, and just needed her to do what she could today on X, herself. I said I’d jump in tomorrow when I was available, because technically this was supposed to be my day off.

She got upset and said it was unfair for me to “make her do all of Project X by herself” because she didn’t know as much as me.

I reminded her she had all the same information I did, and it isn’t like I’ve had time to even think through step 1 yet.

Cat doesn’t seem very helpful.

She sent a vomit emoji and said I “never help her”, which is the opposite of the truth..

I’ve spent months training her and even dedicated an hour most mornings to help her with her stuff.

I told her I didn’t know how to respond, that I needed to get Z done right now, and that I’d ask our boss to reach out and clarify whatever she needs.

She replied “Fine” and stopped talking to me entirely.

It doesn’t sound like they’re friends anymore.

She then badmouthed me to coworkers for being unhelpful.

Meanwhile, it took me the full day to finish Z and I stayed late just to send her data for Project X that I knew we’d need.

Boss had given her directions, and he pulled me off X entirely because it was time for her to graduate into doing it herself anyway.

But she’s ignored me for months both at work and outside of work.

She’s wondering if she really did mess up somehow.

I told my boss but haven’t said anything to defend myself because I don’t want work drama.

Meanwhile I keep replaying it in my head wondering if I actually did something wrong.

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AITA?

It sounds like Cat isn’t capable of doing her job, but OP has too much going on to be expected to help her.

OP did nothing wrong. Cat needs to step up and get the project done.

Let’s see how Reddit reacted to this story.

Maybe Cat isn’t cut out for this job.

This person doesn’t think Cat was ever really her friend.

Another person can relate to having a coworker like Cat.

If you enjoyed this story, check out this post about a customer service rep who hung up and called a customer back to get around a time limit, but ended up getting an award instead of a reprimand after the customer praised his service.

It’s true. Cat doesn’t seem to know what she’s doing.

This employee spent months training Cat but could not provide immediate help while handling two emergencies on what should have been a day off.

Cat had the information and experience to begin independently, yet responded by ending the friendship and criticizing her coworker to others.

Months of support disappeared behind one vomit emoji.