Are scam callers the worst, or what?

I know that these folks are trying to make a buck and times are tough out there, but jeez…leave us alone!

And maybe next time you get one of those scam calls, you’ll take a page out of the book of these folks.

See how they handle these annoying callers!

1. I’m just an old Scottish woman.

This is impressive!

I love scam phone calls.
I pretend I'm an old Scottish woman desperate to pay them.
My record's an hour.
I pretended to go to the toilet 4 times during that one & spent half an hour reading out my card details incorrectly.
At one point I said my couch was on fire.
Great fun

— joe heenan (@joeheenan) April 3, 2021

2. I can’t remember!

Freakin’ ’em out!

I faked a panic attack because I “couldn’t remember the car accident I’d been in and thought I must have amnesia”.

Freaked him the hell out. He said (and this is funny) “Forget it, there’s no accident, are you okay?” 😂

Forget it.

— Stacey 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿🌱 (@Shep00A9) April 3, 2021

3. Let me get my supervisor.

Will this actually work?

Scam caller: I understand you’ve been in an accident
Me: was that the one I was killed in?
Scam caller: please hold the line, I have to get my supervisor as I’m not allowed to deal with death cases
🤷‍♂️🤷‍♂️

— Left Back in the Dressing Room™ (@RealCariari) April 3, 2021

4. He’s a smart kid.

Maybe even a genius…

I miss my youngest son being at home. He had all the answers usually offered in a very urbane voice. He once conducted an entire conversation with quotes from Romeo & Juliet.

— DENI ROGERS 🇬🇧 🇺🇦 🇪🇺 (@Denirogers) April 3, 2021

5. A great kid.

They won’t call back.

This is excellent.

My six year old son managed to keep a scammer on the phone for 20 minutes, and told him, when asked for a parent, that “daddy doesn’t live here, and mummy’s doing a big poo on the toilet”

I was sat next to him, shaking with laughter. https://t.co/F6pnexfRrq

— Jacqui (@ThatJacquiOne) April 3, 2021

6. What’s a browser?

This might take a while…

My mum pretends she doesn’t understand anything to do with tech and makes then explain what a browser is to the point they have to describe browser icons to her 🤣

— Mille Saisons (@MilleSaisonsUK) April 3, 2021

7. I’m a detective.

Who is this?!?!

My fave is to be a “detective” investigating a murder at the premises, just picking up the phone and how the caller is a suspect as they must’ve known the occupant, and they must attend their nearest police station to help with enquiries….

— Karen ❤️🤍🖤🖤👑👑 (@KarenHeard) April 3, 2021

8. That’s just rude.

How dare you hang up on me!

Had a call where they wanted to talk to me about the accident which wasn’t my fault. I said “ It wasn’t an accident. I meant to kill him.” They hung up. That’s just rude.

— The Skillet Parmpernel (@parmpernel) April 3, 2021

9. Practice makes perfect.

A good way to pass the time.

I’ve started replying in Gaelic. It’s a great way to practice! And they haven’t a clue what language I’m speaking. Mind you, a native Gaelic speaker might not either, but I’m improving.

— marlene.halliday 🕷🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿 (@WeegieFifer) April 3, 2021

10. I need my dad!

This sounds like fun.

I shout for my “Dad”, tell them he’s very old and slow. If they’re still there after 20 mins I say in an old-man’s voice, “Deirdre! The catheters come out and the end’s all cracked and bleeding again!” They tend to hang up. If not, I continue with a list of ever worse symptoms.

— Baron twattybanjo (@twattybanjo) April 3, 2021

11. Let’s be friends.

On second thought…

New tactic. Chat with them about my family and their family. Draw them into friendship. Then casually ask them if their mother is proud of their job. Yesterday I had one in tears. Mrs Kiosk says I was too cruel but I disagree. These people steal from the vulnerable.

— Heinz Kiosk PhD. Stretchford U. (@heinz_kiosk) April 3, 2021