13 Hilarious Tweets About Parenting
by Matthew Gilligan
Parents…these tweets are for you and only you.
Because they are all about the parenting game…and they’re HILARIOUS.
So forget about your rugrats for a few minutes and have some laughs via the funny folks of Twitter.
1. Are you up for this challenge?
My wife and I are starting an Escape Room franchise where groups of strangers have to get our 3 kids under age 5 dressed and out of the room in one hour
— The Dad (@thedad) November 11, 2022
2. Good one!
They’re really in for it…
Last week a friend told me she’s looking forward to her toddler turning 3 because she’s tired of the defiant stage. I’m still laughing.
— One Awkward Mom (@oneawkwardmom) November 11, 2022
3. This is great.
And she’s probably right.
we heard a loud beep in McDonald's and my daughter asked if it was their ice cream machine flatlining
— 🚀🎅Dad Missile Toeing🎅🚀 (@raoulvilla) November 15, 2022
4. It’s been all downhill…
We wish you luck.
Me before and after kids pic.twitter.com/FdDeg3mYOP
— 🎁🎄Mommeh Cheerest🎄🎁 (@mommeh_dearest) November 10, 2022
5. Like a crazy person on the street.
Snap out of it!
Parenthood is walking around your house mumbling “what the fuck is that” over and over
— Real Life Mommy (@reallifemommy3) November 4, 2022
6. No fun at all.
You gotta start waking up at 3 a.m.
My kids and I play this fun game where I wake up early to enjoy a coffee alone and they wake up earlier to make sure that I don’t
— I Hide From My Kids (@IHideFromMyKids) November 2, 2022
7. Who knew?
Well, that’s a bummer.
before becoming a parent i didn't know i could ruin someone's life by providing them with food, water, juice, clothes, entertainment and shelter for free.
— Dadman Walking (@dadmann_walking) November 8, 2022
8. She needs a break.
How dare you?!?!
Thoughts and prayers for my 12-year-old.
I asked her to replace the toilet paper roll and now she's now in tears because she has to do everything around here.
— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) November 16, 2022
9. That would be nice.
Get to the point!
Kids should come with a “skip intro” button for their stories
— I Hide From My Kids (@IHideFromMyKids) November 8, 2022
10. And off you go!
Gonna be a long trip…
I told my toddler that she could only pack the essentials so she filled two suitcases, one with socks and the other with stuffed animals
— Real Life Mommy (@reallifemommy3) November 11, 2022
11. Get lost!
8-year-old: We had a a substitute bus driver.
Me: How'd that go?
8: Bad. I was hoping she didn't know the way to school.
— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) November 15, 2022
12. Shredded to pieces.
Now it’s time to cry.
my six year old wanted me to pretend to be her mom and i said “i am your mom” and she said “but like, a cool young fun mom”
im glad i tore up my body to birth her just to get shredded to pieces like that
— That Mom Tho (@mom_tho) November 9, 2022
13. Close is good enough.
What other choice do you have?
Get your kid a hamper so they have something to throw their dirty clothes near.
— Mommy Needs A Life (@mom_needsalife) November 8, 2022