April 9, 2023 at 6:02 am

People Recall The Moment They Realized Their Date Was Not A Genius

by Trisha Leigh

It can be hard to really get to know someone on a first date, or even a second. Heck, some people have gotten so good at concealing their true form that you’re not entirely sure what you’ve gotten until after you move in together, or even get married.

They’re not all telling how far in they got, but these 16 people are sharing the moment they realized they were dating an absolute dolt.

16. Yes nearby.

Was just lounging about one Sunday and skiing came on the TV. at one point the commentator said that contestants reached 100 km/h at that point in the race.

The ex literally shouted bulls**t at the telly.

I looked at her and asked why..she replied that there was no way that they could tell how far they’d go in an hour since the race was only two minutes long.

Another time, “I have an aunt who lives in London, is that near England”

15. Bless his heart.

watched a doc that explained how sharks have electricity receptors which they use to hunt.

he said “that’s not possible. sharks are supposedly millions of years old but we only invented electricity a hundred years ago.”

14. Weird for sure.

I introduced him to my stepsister. He said, “weird, you guys look nothing alike.”

13. A prime indicator.

He thought the outlet plug covers (for childproofing) meant the outlet was out-of-order. He literally had nothing plugged into the walls of his entire living room.

He also mentioned how smart he was any chance he got…. usually a prime indicator.

12. For months.

It was 1999 and I was a Marine. Her “what is war like?” “ how many wars have you fought in?” “When you jumped out of a plane in enemy territory didn’t you think you might get showdown?”

She asked these questions for months. I would ask what war is going on or what war could I have been fighting in. She was always super confused and would laugh and say I will open up eventually.

She told me she told her Mom when I got out I was going to make tons of money as a parachute repair man. To this day I have no idea what she was talking about. I told her tons of times I never jumped and it was rare for marines to be airborne.

11. He couldn’t understand it.

He kept applying for jobs and getting denied instantly. At the time, I didn’t understand and was upset for him. Come to find out, this 26 year old was applying for jobs driving armored trucks for banks. With a record for stealing money from cash registers.

I didn’t know at the time that he had ever been arrested, but this man literally had robbery and theft on his record, and couldn’t understand why an armored truck company wouldn’t hire him.

10. Not a prank.

It was when vampire-related shows and movies were in the height of their popularity. He became obsessed with vampires. When we would go outside, he started to act like the sun was hurting him, and he would shield his face with his hands while groaning in pain.

Think of Jim from The Office with his vampire prank… only he was more dramatic… and serious

9. She was shocked.

My ex didn’t think it rained over the ocean because there was enough water there already.

She was shocked it rained when we were on a cruise.

8. It didn’t work out.

He was trying to make cookies and kept opening the oven for extended periods of time, letting out all the heat.

When I told him he was letting all the heat out by opening the door wide open and staring at the cookies, he told me I didn’t know how ovens work because the temp setter said 400 so it was 400. Took an hour to bake 1 sheet of cookies and said “I don’t know why it’s taking so long.”

Also insisted on doing this on Thanksgiving, tying up my oven and was pissed off when he found out the turkey would take 3hrs to cook. As I’m sure you can imagine… Did not work out.

7. A college graduate.

How alcohol content percentage works.

We argued for months that 10% as alcohol content remains the same even if you halved the bottle.

She said nope, if you halved the bottle then the alcohol content would be 5%.

Engineer graduate that too.

She works for a software firm.

For 12 years.

Sigh.

6. Perhaps.

“Do you think getting drunk so often while I was pregnant was bad for him?”

She said this about her son who was five years old and had yet to speak a single word yet.

She was not the primary caregiver.

5. The biggest red flag.

My ex thought he could play hockey and found what he thought were the holy grail of skates. He bought them for $200 (I don’t know the price as it was a long time ago).

His friend, who lived in a city an hour and 20 minutes away, told him he got the same skates for $195.

So my ex, in his old Camaro that cost $50 in gas round trip, returned the skates he got for $200 and drove 1 hour and 20 minutes to get the skates that were $5 cheaper. That should have been the biggest red flag.

But sadly, it turned out I was the f**king idiot who stayed with him for a few more years..

4. Just to clarify.

When he left the window open in the middle of summer because the air conditioning made the house too cold. He didn’t turn off the air conditioner and argued that it wouldn’t have made a difference.

Edit: I want to clarify that he argued having the window open wouldn’t make a difference as to how much the AC ran. I got home and the house was warm and very humid. The AC had been running constantly.

3. Same guy.

My first boyfriend was trying to convince me to do anal and told me “it’ll feel good because it stimulates the prostate.” (I’m female).

Same guy: “It’s the male kangaroo that has the babies!” Bonus fact: We’re Australian.

2. Not the same thing.

I went on a couple dates with a woman who owned two large energetic dogs. When she bought them she was informed that she’d need to walk them every day to get them exercise and burn off energy.

To save time, instead of walking them she’d take them for a drive and thought that accomplished the same thing.

1. She was a great tipper.

I had to explain to a grown woman that 20% is not always $20 when converted to currency.

These stories are absolutely priceless.

And I’m guessing all of us have one we could tell. Oops.

twistedsifter on facebook People Recall The Moment They Realized Their Date Was Not A Genius