Should This Woman Share Her Running Stats With Her Boyfriend – Even Though She Prefers Not To Track Them At All?
There are so many odd relationship questions that pop up on Reddit that it can be hard to keep track. That said, way too many of them boil down to major issues of control and insecurity – which aren’t good omens no matter how you slice it.
This woman and her boyfriend both enjoy running, but while he is super into tracking his efforts and progress, she prefers to do it in order to relax, or to have some time to think, or just to reconnect with her body out in nature.
My boyfriend and I are both runners, though we don’t often run together because he’s a morning bird and likes to run at 5 or 6 am before he goes to work. And I’m a night owl who likes to run just before sunset.
Nowadays, he loves tracking his runs, he has an apple watch and loves digging into his heart rate data, speed and time data, etc… He’s using a training plan that he sticks to and it sounds like he spends a lot of time on his runs thinking about technique and his training plan
I’ll just go out and run at whatever speed feels good that day, for however long feels good that day. I’ll go wherever looks cool or scenic. It really varies depending on my mood and energy level but I usually run for 30-60 minutes varying my speed a lot. My longest runs are usually if I’d smoked a bowl before, it just makes me lose track of time and enjoy being outdoors. And I like to think or meditate on things when I run.
They both assumed he was the better runner (and they were both fine with that) until they ran a marathon together and realized that wasn’t the case.
I guess we always both assumed he was the better runner, till we decided to do a half marathon charity race together. And I just had a much easier time, we ran side by side but I just wasn’t getting out of breath as often, and I ended up slowing down for most of the race to stay with him.
And I was genuinely surprised, because I kinda just use running to help with anxiety, I don’t care how the run goes, it’s just nice to be outdoors and feel connected with my body.
Now he wants her to wear a fitness tracker too, so that he can see what’s she’s doing or what her secret is or something.
But my boyfriend really wanted to know how I did it, he thought I must have been doing something to train. I joked that I hadn’t really, I just ran whenever I was feeling anxious or restless, and work’s been making me feel that a lot recently.
Since then, every time I’ve gone running, he’s wanted me to use an app to track my route and pace, or borrow his apple watch. I don’t really want to do that, I feel like tracking and analyzing things would ruin my fun
She’s told him what she does and laughingly suggested he just chill out and enjoy it more but he thinks she’s purposely hiding some strategy so that she can keep being better than him.
But literally every time he’s gotten annoyed at me, even saying stuff (in a kinda joking way but still) that he talked to his running buddies and “untracked runs don’t count” and “it’s basically sacrilege” and on a more serious note “don’t you want to know your progress?”
I said how about we do a few races a year, I can see my progress that way because they time you!
He said he just wanted to know how I was training, to get some tips from me, and I told him honestly he should just smoke a little weed or have an espresso first, put on a classical music playlist, and go run wherever looks the prettiest, maybe it is the enjoyment of the thing that really helps?
OP wants to know whether or not she’s being a jerk for just not wearing the tracker, even though she feels like it might ruin running for her.
But I guess he didn’t want to try that because he’s just kept at nagging me to try his apple watch. I feel like he’s probably feeling kinda insecure I ran better in that race and is trying to make sense of it, so maybe I’m being too stubborn about not wanting to try it.
AITA for not tracking my runs, when my runner boyfriend wants to see?
What does Reddit think? Let’s see how they tackled this weird conflict!
According to the top comment, OP is not wrong, and her boyfriend needs some therapy.
Plenty of people think he’s blowing a lot of smoke.
They say she should be doing whatever makes HER happy, not him.
This commenter says his ego is definitely a bit too fragile for anyone’s good.
And we end with the age-old reminder that you shouldn’t have to make yourself smaller in order for a loved one to feel bigger.
This poor woman is being totally gaslit.
Let’s hope now she realizes it and takes appropriate action!
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Tags: · aita, am i the asshole?, relationship red flags, should this woman track her runs for her boyfriend