I know that there are some families that take their cooking and recipes – especially those for sauce – very seriously.

In this case, though, it’s the opposite of a recipe that’s caused the issue, because OP has had to repeatedly ask her sister-in-law to stop trying to season food that she’s not cooking.

The last tomato to fall off the cart was when OP had a whole bushel of tomatoes she was turning into sauce for different occasions. She hadn’t seasoned any of the simmering pots because they would be used for different recipes in the future and would need to be tailored then.

I(28F) have an older brother(32M), he is married to SIL(33F). I get along with her well, except for this one point: if you don’t keep an eye on her, she will get into the kitchen, and add seasonings to whatever is cooking. She thinks she is fixing stuff, but not all foods need turmeric in it.

This saturday, I received 40 lbs of tomatoes, it took me the whole weekend to turn it into a sauce that I was planning to can. I can it plain, then add whatever seasonings and herbs it needs, depending on the recipe.

Her brother and sister-in-law showed up to pick up some hand-me-down clothes, and while OP was out of the kitchen her SIL seasoned all of the pots with Italian seasoning.

They came to take a bag of spare clothes for one of their kids, and in the 5 minutes it took me to get it, she managed to get into the kitchen, add salt, pepper, turmeric, olive oil, garlic powder and italian herbs to all 5 of the pots that were simmering on the stove.

OP was incensed and told them both to leave, that the SIL was not welcome back in her home, and that she expected them to replace her tomatoes, too.

And when I told asked her what she was doing, she had the audacity to say “this sauce needed some taste, I added it for you”. Like I’ve never told her to not touch what I was cooking before.

I was so angry that I knew I couldn’t be calm talking with her. So I simply walked to my brother, told him to take the clothes and his wife, and that she is no longer welcome in my house.

She had followed me, was shocked, started apologizing, but I just ignored her. I added that he should come by tomorrow to take the sauce his wife ruined, because otherwise it would be thrown away, and that I expected 40lbs of replacement tomatoes.

Her brother came back with the tomatoes and a sincere apology from her SIL.

They left, he came back with the tomatoes, an apology letter from her, and an apology carrot cake (my fav). But I told him that I stand by my decision.

Her family thinks she overreacted but OP says she doesn’t want her SIL left out, but she does not want her back in her home.

Now my parents got involved, since I am the one that usually hosts, and since she is not allowed in my house, I told them to make alternate plans for Memorial day.

My husband says that I am in the right, but my parents say that my reaction is way overblown. So AITA?

Edit: since there seems to be some confusion, I am not planning to host for memorial day and bot invite her, I said I am not hosting, my parents or my brother should host, and I will attend as a guest. I might be angey, but I don’t want her excluded.

Reddit is going to weigh in on this one, which feels a little bit touchy!

The top comment finds no fault with OP’s behavior, though she does believe the SIL has learned her lesson now.

This person agrees the behavior is completely wild.

This commenter disagrees with the top comment and thinks the SIL has not probably learned her lesson.

A fellow cook weighed in and is also on OP’s side.

They say it is definitely not normal behavior.

I don’t even know what to say about this one.

Except that I would never, and I bet most of you would never either.