People seem to talk a lot more about what to avoid in relationships and partners than what you should hold onto for dear life if you find it – maybe because we’re all a little jaded and wondering if green flag people exist at all.

These people say they definitely do, and are giving some great NSFW examples of what made them realize they had a gem.

Such a relief.

Not having to ask for oral.

Such a relief.

No means no.

When they accept your ‘no’s’.

You’d be surprised about how many people just ignore it, or push until you give in.

Understanding.

Understanding that sometimes the spirit is willing but the flesh is spongy and bruised

Seriously, stop.

Even more than just that. After I orgasm, I’m very sensitive. More often than not when I orgasm I tell someone, “alright stop stop stop stop stop” and I push their hand/head away and they continue fingering/going down on me and they say things like, “I’m not gonna stop till you orgasm again” thinking that’s… sexy or something?

That’s not sexy. I said stop.

Like… The number of people who stop when I say stop is tragically low. Like 5%.

The order of things.

Probably the question my now fiance asked me just before we started dating.

Backstory: We were friends who had both just gone through recent breakups. We had been talking and decided we were going to just hookup to relieve some stress.

I started getting really nervous, I’m not a hookup guy and I actually really liked my friend and didn’t think I could actually go through with it without catching feels.

She then basically sends me a text that says “Hey, I still want to f*** you, but can we like…date after we do that?”

We slept together, went on our first date later that day, have been together 4 years, and are getting married later this year.

Not sure it’s entirely NSFW but since it involved sleeping together and THEN going on a date I figured it maybe belonged here.

Pay attention to body language.

My now-boyfriend and I were hooking up for, like, the 2nd time ever. Deep into the 3rd round that night, I was sore and achy, but trying to hide it because I still just couldn’t get enough of him.

With one thrust he made I winced in pain, but I got myself together and put what I thought was a pretty convincing hungry sex kitten expression back on my face. Well, when I tell you that man stopped on a dime, pulled out, kissed me gently, and said “I only want it to be good for you or we’re done for the night; I don’t want to hurt you,” I melted.

He put his clothes on and left the hotel just to get me some cranberry juice and some Tylenol. He snuggled me and kissed me until we fell asleep. The consideration and care was just god-tier.

Paying attention to your partner’s body language and comfort is a huuuuge green flag.

Going the distance.

I had a fling where the guy pretended to be my fiance to get me out of a bad situation, then we hooked up, then he took me out to breakfast. 10/10 would be rescued by him again.

Things didn’t work out because of distance, but I think so highly of him.

The hottest thing in the world.

Eye contact.

Doesn’t sound very NSFW on the surface, but the eyes can be the sexiest part of a woman, and if she gives you the right look it can be the hottest thing in the world.

Forget about it.

When she says a lot of funny, dirty, playful, slutty things.

Make me laugh while turning me on? Forget about it. Be my gf, NOW.

Being aware.

Realizing a trauma derived kink might make you bust like a shotgun, but also knowing you don’t wanna live like that in real life and compartmentalizing it to the bedroom

Such a green flag of being aware of ones kinks and their origin and acceptance.

Don’t be afraid to ask.

The first time I slept with my guy, the first thing he said to me when we got in bed was, “Tell me how to make you come.”

It was ridiculously attractive that he not only cared about getting me off but that he understood he would need to learn my body and what felt good for me and he wasn’t afraid or too cocky to ask.

What she wants.

When she says what she wants. Not dirty talk or anything like that. Real communication about turn ons and offs, what hits the spot perfectly, and also listens to her partners wants

Proper communication goes a long way.

Aftercare is important.

Remembering your post sex routines and helping facilitate them.

I knew a guy was good when we slept together again after years and he remembered exactly what I like afterwards.

Aftercare is so important. Whether you had spirited vanilla sex or something consensually kinky, aftercare! AFTERCARE!

Emotional connection.

Last month I was on a date with my significant other. We are still somewhat early in our relationship so I was talking about something I was self conscious about and what I perceived as a red flag.

Her exact words were thank you for telling me, it doesn’t change the way I feel about you. Man that made me feel really good in the inside.

My emotional connection bar got filled fast a f there

Yeah, all of this sounds pretty nice.

Maybe we shouldn’t give up on finding those unicorns after all.