There are satisfying stories about big corporations getting absolutely smashed by their own greed… and then there’s a story like this.

Reddit’s Malicious Compliance section has come up with another beauty about a mild mannered lawyer who bided his time to get revenge in the best way possible.

So let’s meet Mr. Grey, a very mild mannered lawyer who’s just about to retire and is getting a little tipsy at a company party.

So I started work in the 90’s on the shop floor of a pipe making factory, but made a few friends in the office. So one year at our End of Year break up party I overheard a story from the corporate lawyer who was retiring on the same day. Someone asked what his most memorable case was.

This guy was Grey. Grey hair, Grey skin, Grey clothing, Grey manners. Nothing distinctive about him at all. In fact, at the annual company party known for drinking this guy was always sober, but not that night. He was a contracts lawyer, never tried a case, just proofed contracts all day (as far as I know).

Mr. Grey worked for a company that made something that the world needs: pipe.

So, we made pipe. Plastic pipe. Water supply, sewer, electrical, and Telecommunications Duct. We were the second biggest in the market and would swap contracts with the biggest manufacturer as we both bid on supplying the big players in the markets.

In our jurisdiction we had a government communication dept which got sold off and became Big Telco along with deregulation of the sector. We supplied green ducting for Telecommunications to Big Telco, lost the contract to the competition, gained it back, etc, life went on.

One day a new international company entered our market and started under cutting Big Telco. Let’s call them OK Telco. So as things go we lost the Big Telco contract, but picked up the OK Telco contract which was bigger as they had to establish an entire network from scratch. Yay us!

Cue Mr. Grey, and introducing Mr. Bigshot and his team of $5-a-word-attack lawyers…

This is where Mr Grey enters the story. He was a contracts lawyer, not a criminal law or other specialty, but contract. He gets a “please attend” meeting invite from Big Telco along with a select few from our company. Probably about the upcoming renegotiating of contracts.

When Mr Grey walks into the room with his boss there sitting across the boardroom table are Mr Bigshot and several $5-a-word-attack lawyers. They ambush them with an injunction about using “This Green” (you know, the standard Telecommunications green) for OK Telco pipes and are ready to take them for everything including the pension fund for daring to supply the competition.

They had a strict contract on the table which had to be signed then and there, or another $5-a-word-attack lawyer standing by at the courthouse would have a judge sign an injunction against making any pipe at all until the case was settled. Probably an empty threat but even a two week break in production could destroy our company while lawyers cleared it with a judge to let us make other types of pipe.

Mr Grey looked over the contract and told the boss to sign as they could tie us up in knots due to their huge size and budget while the contract just made it clear that This Green was the exclusive property of Big Telco and could ONLY make it for Big Telco. We folded like a shirt and signed.

Life went on with us making OK Telco a ‘That Green’ pipe.

Pro tip for life… whenever you get a big win make sure you never brag openly and publicly about it. Take the win and allow people to save face.

Mr. Bigshot didn’t take this advice…

A few months later Mr Grey went to a 20 year reunion from his law school.

Guess who was there? Mr Bigshot, telling everyone about how great a lawyer he is and how he can push around anyone due to how great he is, and definitely not due to his huge budget and army of $5-a-word-attack lawyers.

Mr Grey is pissed. Mr Grey bides his time and pours over the contract.

And the trap is set.

A few years later Big Telco has to have a name change due to how much bad press they have from shifty service and practices, and as a way to avoid debts under the old name. They change everything store fronts, letterheads, everything. They are now New-old Telco.

Contracts come and go. The other big pipe company gets the contract from New-old Telco to make pipe. Mr Grey strikes. Other pipe company and New-old Telco get served with cease and desist orders about making and using green pipe. Mr. Bigshot’s lawyer is puzzled and angry that this has happened and calls Mr Grey. Mr Grey arranges a meeting and then hangs up on Mr. Bigshot mid-threat.

Mr. Bigshot turns up with his $5-a-word-attack lawyers to see just Mr Grey in the boardroom, no ambush, no backup, just him.

Mr Grey lets him vent his spleen about how they’re going to gut the company and Mr Grey will never work in law again. Then Mr Grey takes out a packet of papers and a highlighter. Makes a few strokes and pushes it to the closest $5-a-word-attack lawyer. They read what he had highlighted and screwed up their face. This was repeated as the papers were passed to the Mr. Bigshot’s lawyer.

Uh oh.

I’m no lawyer and this was about 30 years ago so I can only paraphrase what Mr Grey said he had highlighted. Only Our Pipe Co, in conjunction with Big Telco can make and or use This Green pipe. Exclusively, with no substitutes, parent or child companies, successors or blah blah blah.”

Since there were only two companies listed on the contract they were the only two sets of people who could decide the fate of This Green pipe.

Mr. Bigshot said that they could claim ownership of the pipe colour since they were in effect just a rebranded Big Telco. Mr Grey pointed out that that admission would cause all their avoided debts to come home with interest along with an admission of guilt in trying to pervert the course of justice. Mr. Bigshot then claimed that they inherented the ownership… Mr Grey cut him off with the ‘no child company ‘ clause. Mr. Bigshot went on for a while being blocked by Mr Grey at every turn, and at the end even his $5-a-word-attack lawyers were jumping in to shut him down because he was exposing them to risks greater than any of them were willing to be a part off especially since they had made the contract as air tight as they could.

And here’s the best part… Mr. Grey is a good guy. Not just some corporate shill. Because his next move was baller!

As they were leaving Mr Grey said two things.

“This was an unfair fight, all of you versus me. Next time bring more and smarter lawyers.  And since we now effectively control the ‘This Green’ here’s a document making the colour public domain, we don’t want to screw the other pipe company, it’s not their fault they have idiots for customers.”

Boom!

So what did Reddit have to say?

Well, they definitely don’t like telcos…

And contract lawyers loved it because they know who actually read the contracts.

And one person has a funny story to share of their own!

Well played!

Stories like these are always a highly satisfying read.

We hope you think so too!