‘John got mad because she wasn’t refilling his water as soon as he finished it.’ This Woman Vows To Never Eat Out With Her Husband’s Best Friend Again Because He Was So Rude
by Trisha Leigh
If you’ve ever been a server, then you know there are all kinds of exhausting customers – but honestly, a majority of them don’t have the gall to be outright disrespectful or mean.
OP and her husband have both worked service jobs in their lives, since they don’t come from money and had to find a way to pay for the things they wanted/needed.
Her husband’s bff, though, went through life and college on his father’s dime until he landed a good job of his own.
My husband has a best friend named John that he’s known since college.
I really like John but it’s worth mentioning that John grew up very differently from both me and my DH in that he comes from a wealthy family who supported him financially until he graduated from college and got his first job working for a major bank.
He doesn’t know what it’s like to be poor or work a lower paying service job and have to make ends meet because he never had to. I don’t think it makes him a bad person, just out of touch with reality.
Through it all, he’s been a difficult restaurant customer, making a lot of demands, a lot of changes to his menu items, and would make it clear that their handling of things would affect their tip.
That leads me to this: one thing about John is that I absolutely hate going out to eat with him. He is so rude to servers and will often find reasons to not tip them.
He has a habit of trying to order off menu or adding so many modifications to a dish that it’s no longer recognizable and will get angry if it’s even a little bit wrong (he doesn’t have any allergies or intolerances).
Dining with him can be embarrassing and mentally exhausting.
The night in question, though, he went over the top and was yelling derogatory comments at the waitress when his meal did not come out as ordered.
Last night was the last straw for me. The three of us and another couple decided to try a newer restaurant in our city. After being seated, John seemed to be on his best behavior. No complicated cocktail or food order, in fact he got a glass of wine and only made two modifications to his entree.
The only negative was that our server seemed to be in the weeds because of how busy the restaurant was but she was pleasant and you could tell she was trying her best to keep us happy which is all that should matter.
John got mad because she wasn’t refilling his water as soon as he finished it, his second glass of wine took a while, and our entrees took about a half hour to get out. All the while he’s talking about how this was going to be reflected on his tip. I was annoyed.
And then when our entrees did come out, one of his mods didn’t come out right and he went ballistic on the server, told her how dumb she was, etc.
I’ve never seen him get that angry with a server before, usually he’s just passive aggressive.
OP stood up for the waitress, telling him it wasn’t her fault and doubling her tip to make sure the girl didn’t go home with less than she deserved.
In response, I lost it at him and told him that he was overreacting to such a small slight and that it probably wasn’t her fault. If he had such an issue, then he needed to speak to a manager and not yell at her about it.
His meal was fixed soon after and the rest of the night went on smoothly. Of course John left no tip so I doubled mine to make up for it.
Afterward she told the friend she was never eating out with him again and exactly why – a tact her husband called rude on the drive home.
In the parking lot, I told him that I would never eat out with him ever again if he was going to continue to act entitled to restaurant workers. I added that he needed to humble himself and not act like he’s above anyone who doesn’t work a white collar job because not all of us were born into money and left without saying goodbye.
On the car ride home, DH told me my comments to John were inappropriate and that I was an AH to him because he had every right to be mad. I replied that I had the right to not want to eat with people who behave like he does because it’s exhausting.
Did she go too far? Should she have just kept her mouth shut but refused to go again? Let’s find out how Reddit think she should have handled it!
The top comment reassures OP that the men here are definitely wrong.
And they don’t really think it has anything to do with the money.
Many people are also not too sure why her husband is ok with this behavior, either.
Because you know, kindness is free.
This is your reminder that yelling doesn’t make anything better.
This guy has anger issues, full stop.
I’m pretty sure OP doesn’t want to be around when it escalates further – because it will.