Anyone who has ever blended a family knows one thing for certain – if you’re doing it right, it won’t be easy.

OP and his wife each had a teenager coming into their marriage. So far, OP thought that everyone was getting along fine, even though his son is more introverted than his wife and stepdaughter.

I (M/37) have a 13 y.o son. I was a widower when I met my now wife. She has a 16 y.o daughter from another relationship. The family is often on pretty good terms.

My son is the quiet one in the house, he keeps to himself a lot but not to the point of being concerning.

My wife and stepdaughter are the complete opposite. They both encourage him to be outgoing and share activities and join gatherings with extended family.

My son complained about having to be forced out of his comfort zone and having his need for space invalidated. I spoke to both my wife and stepdaughter and asked them to give him space and freedom to spend his time however he wanted.

They apologized and promised to let him be.

Things were going so well, in fact, that he was planning a big Mother’s Day celebration for her.

As mother’s day was approaching I wanted to throw my wife a surprise mother’s day celebration. It was no longer a surprise because my stepdaughter gave her the heads so she could prepare.

Yesterday I got off work earlier than usual to get final arrangements done (we planned to celebrate at the restaurant and invited her family there).

Then, OP came home one day to overhear a conversation between his wife, stepdaughter, and son in which they were cruel and trying to bully him into not coming to the party.

I had the key and while I was entering the house through the front door I overheard my wife and stepdaughter talking to my son. My wife was asking my son if he could convince me to let him stay home and not go with them to the restaurant to celebrate. I paused and decided to keep listening.

My son said why and she told him that his introverted and socially inept “attitude” will make her family uncomfortable and will ruin the mood. He promised her that he’d be well behaved and would try to interact and socialize with everyone but she said that she wasn’t buying it.

He kept reassuring her but she snapped and told him that technically, she’s not his mom so she didn’t get why he wanted to celebrate mother’s day with her so badly.

My stepdaughter threw some (I don’t remember) backhanded comment and then both of them were shocked to see me standing there.

When OP confronted them and said told his wife he was going to cancel the party, she started to say he was being unreasonable and to make excuses for her behavior.

Both were staring without saying anything. I told my son and his stepsister to go to their rooms then told my wife that the celebration was off, cancelled. she tried to argue asking why repeatedly and I told her why.

She tried to explain that she didn’t mean it like that and that I only heard part of the conversation but not all of it. I told her I was done arguing and the decision was already made.

She yelled asking what she was going to tell her family and said that I was making tremendous mistake towards her.

I ignored her while she kept throwing tantrum after a tantrum. Early this morning she took my stepdaughter and went to stay with her folks. not a single call or text from her so far.

Situation is full of tension. I’m upset still but more hurt to be honest. I mean yes I did say I was going to havw this celebration but I thought that what she said to my son was too harsh to ignore.

OP doesn’t think they were wrong, but what does Reddit think? They’re about to tell us!

The top comment says it’s time to circle the wagons and protect his son.

People who have similar experiences agree.

They say if OP wants a good relationship with his son, he needs to take action now.

This person agrees it’s definitely serious.

There are just some things that should be a dealbreaker

It’s so odd to think about the “small” things that break up relationships.

Not small at all, but surprising all the same.