Being a parent will always be a delicate balancing act between making sure your kid has what they need, while making sure they don’t walk all over you.

In the case of the following story, things are a bit more complicated. Because kids can sometimes spring up out of nowhere and demand things that they really don’t deserve.

The following story involves one such case, and a parent setting boundaries that seem necessary and justified.

AITA for agreeing to walk my step daughter down the aisle but not bio daughter?

On my graduation party, I hooked up with May and got her pregnant. She was dating her long term partner at the time and told neither of us that the baby was mine. I didn’t know she had a bf or that she was pregnant.

After college, I returned to my hometown and met my childhood friend Anna. She was pregnant and her partner had died one month before her baby was due in a bad car accident.

She had a girl, Ella and I was there for the birth. Back then I was there just as a friend but I loved that baby as a father. As soon as she was placed in my arms, I became her father. Anna and I didn’t get together until Ella was 5 but even before, Ella called me dad. I was always her father and I still love her beyond anything.

Sounds like this poster is a legitimate stand up guy. So it’s no surprise that Ella wanted him to be there for her wedding.

She’s now 21 and getting married in December. I was asked to walk her down the aisle and I said yes.

Over 2 years ago, a girl named Sophie reached out to me telling me I was her father. After some enquiry, I found out May had lied to her bf, Max and for the last 18 years, he had been raising Sophie thinking she was his. He found out and ended everything with both May and Sophie. May begged and pleaded but he wanted nothing to do with them.

I felt horrible for the Sophie and after discussing, Anna and I agreed to help out with her living arrangements and college. We never really connected as parent/child since Sophie said she wanted to try reconciling with her dad. I agreed and thought him not having to pay for her might make it easy for the man to see past the bitterness.

Again, this guy is doing the right thing even though he technically doesn’t need to.

However… sometimes if you’re generous, that generosity can be exploited.

I didn’t hear much from Sophie unless she needed money. She was always distant, often snapping at me whenever I tried to get to know her because ‘I had never bothered to search if I had any kids’ and ‘If I wasn’t there, she’d have been her real dad’s real kid’. I tried not to let any of it bother because I cannot comprehend her pain.

Recently, Sophie too got engaged to her long time partner. The wedding’s in December, on the same day as Ella’s and neither can change this late. I didn’t know she was even engaged until a week ago. She said she wanted me to walk her down the aisle.

I said I was grateful she considered me (she immediately corrected me saying she only asked cause Max refused.) But that I couldn’t do it since I had already given Ella my word.

Looks like Sophie really needs a lesson in manners.

As I’m sure you can guess, she immediately played the victim and was horrible to this guy.

Sophie got upset, standing up and crying and screaming at me. Calling me a deadbeat and cheater. All kinds of horrible names for ruining her life and now her wedding.

I apologized but still refused. She left and I have since received backlash for both her friends and fiance. They say it’s the least I can do for my ‘bio’ kid.

But Sophie really never became my daughter. She’s just some kid I’ve tried to help in whichever way she’d accept while she tried to work with her actual dad. Ella is my daughter in every way imaginable. I sympathize with Sophie but I have made up my mind to be there for Ella. I won’t change that.

But I still have to ask, AITA?

As is always the case in situations like this, people have compassion for those who are hurting… but that doesn’t mean the dad is wrong.

And this person thinks that the bio daughter is just after those dollars.

But I tend to agree with this person, who thinks the situation is very complicated.

It really does seem like the consensus is this guy is definitely NTA.

I really hope this family can figure out a way forward.

There’s nothing worse than have bad feelings between family members.