Everyone who hosts guests for a meal knows it’s important to ask ahead of time about preferences and allergies.

That said, you also have to know your limits.

OP’s sister-in-law has non-threatening allergies and a penchant for getting what she wants.

don’t know if I am a jerk or not for this.

Usually my mom will host for Christmas but this year she just can’t keep up. My SIL has been in the family for years and in my opinion she is a food snob.

She has multiple allergies, nothing life threatening just unpleasant for her. Since we all understand allergies we make sure to keep everything separate and not cross contaminate.

We don’t want to risk her eating something and instead of getting a rash she needs a hospital visit.

Her mother has let it slide, but OP has nearly bitten off her tongue.

Now the reason I think she is a food snob isn’t due to her allergies, it’s nitpicking the dish mom makes each year. I have watched year after year she makes backhanded comments about the food. My mom told me to stay out of I so I did.

Two years ago there was a mess up and it caused a reaction. It was a huge deal and last year my mom wanted her to bring her own dish since she was worried she would mess up again.

This caused a huge fight between them and she threatened to pull the grandkids away if she couldn’t be a good host and give something she could eat.

My mom caved. The dinner came and went and she got backhanded comments about the food.

Now that she’s hosting, she’s decided no more accommodations.

My mom can’t host anymore and none of my brothers were doing it so I stepped up. I gave SIL a call and told her she needs to bring her own meal.

I told her I am not experienced handling allergies and I can not guarantee the food will be safe so I will not make her something. I didn’t tell her but the other reason was I don’t want her complaining about my food.

This caused an argument about me being a horrible host. I made it clear I wouldn’t accommodate her and she doesn’t have to come.

My brother is angry but my mom laughed when I told her.

Should she feel badly, or like a bad host? Reddit’s going to tell her!

The top comment says OP is NTA because the SIL is for sure TA.

This person says it’s past time they had a chat with her.

They say at least mom is happy.

This commenter thinks the SIL should step up and host.

Maybe it’s time to be blunt.

I honestly can’t believe no one has confronted her before now.

She needs to know that no one appreciates her comments/behavior.

If you enjoyed that story, read this one about a mom who was forced to bring her three kids with her to apply for government benefits, but ended up getting the job of her dreams.