January 6, 2024 at 3:45 pm

Widower Tells His Kids He’s Dating Someone Two Months Before They Get Married. Now They’re Mad And His Brother Tells Him The Hard Truth.

by Matthew Gilligan

Source: Reddit/AITA/Pixabay

The truth can hurt from time to time…

And it can REALLY hurt when it’s dished out between family members.

This person took to Reddit’s “Am I the *******?” page to ask the fine readers there if they were out of line for what they said to their brother.

Get all the details in the story below and see what you think.

AITA for telling my brother his mistake wasn’t in remarrying but in how he handled the process?

“My brother Frank (40m) was widowed 6 years ago. Two years ago he got remarried to Emily (38f).

Frank has three children with his first wife. Ava (14f), Noa (13f) and Harley (10m).

His kids had no idea…

Emily also has a son (9m) and a stepdaughter from her ex-husband who she has custody of (12f). Frank and Emily started dating just before the pandemic hit.

The kids were not aware of the fact Frank was dating. He told them two months before the wedding.

It was a month later he announced he was getting married and Emily and her kids were moving in.

Frank’s kids have adapted worse than Emily’s kids. The kids have refused to take part in family activities, are distant and cold with Emily and her kids and have yelled at my brother multiple times, accusing him of replacing their mom and saying **** Emily, they don’t care about Emily, they don’t want Emily, etc.

Frank, Emily, Ava, Noa and Harley have started attending family counseling (7ish months or so now). They have seen three therapists thus far because the kids would “sit and sulk” per Frank’s own words and would not open up or engage and each time the therapist ends up just talking to Frank and Emily.

Things weren’t going well.

Frank started to complain about how mad the kids are at him.

He said they were selfish for expecting him to stay single for the rest of his life. He said he’s tired of them making no effort to make the blended family work. He said he doesn’t like how they work against it and he doesn’t like how people treat him like he made a mistake when he remarried.

He wanted to know if he wasn’t entitled to his happiness, etc.

They told him how they really felt about it.

I listened to him vent countless times.

Last time he told me he felt I had something to say and I should just say it. I told him his mistake was never in remarrying, but in how he did it.

He only told the kids he was dating two months prior to his wedding, told them a month later he was getting married and three people were moving in and then married in that two month timeline when everything was still very new and strange to them.

I told him most kids will struggle with the idea of their parent moving on after divorce or the death of their parent. That’s why people usually spend years dating and getting the kids adjusted so they have time to process and work through their feelings, to work through the fresh wave of grief that hearing news like that would bring.

I said dating and letting everyone get to know each other over a period of time and helping the kids through is the best way to make a blended family.

It didn’t go over very well…

He got mad at me and told me he shouldn’t have to adjust his timeline for anyone, not even his kids. I asked him how he’d feel to hear dad is dating someone (30 years after our mom died). He told me there is no way dad would do that and **** me for even suggesting it.

I told him so he’d have a problem with it but can’t understand his kids having a problem with him doing it.

He told me it’s not the same and he’s not judging dad but I’m judging him and that makes me an *******.

AITA?”

Check out how Reddit users reacted.

This person said they’re NTA.

Source: Reddit/AITA

Another individual said the kids are copying their dad’s behavior.

Source: Reddit/AITA

One person thinks they know what’s really going on.

Source: Reddit/AITA

This person said it sounds like the kids are simply shutting down.

Source: Reddit/AITA

And this Reddit user just doesn’t get it…

Source: Reddit/AITA

The family drama is strong with this one, folks…

What a story!

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