In this day and age, one would hope that queer people everywhere would feel loved and supported by their families unconditionally.

Sadly, there are still too many in the closet because they fear the ensuing backlash.

OP’s brother is one of the latter, and has remained closeted for that reason.

Ok this is the worst. I’m losing sleep over this.

My brother is gay, but my family doesn’t know, only me and my parents know.

I come from a very old school traditional family, so the old part of the family, grandparents and some aunts/uncles still have last century’s mind, and the younger portion, cousins/siblings are open minded, and are living in the present.

So my brother has been dating his bf for 6 months now, the dude is great, I’m so happy my brother found a great guy. But it’s kind of a secret, as he hasn’t told my family he is gay.

I’ve been telling him for years that he should come out, cause I know it stresses him a lot, and I think it will make him feel better not to hide anymore, plus I bet a few family members already know anyway.

But he disagrees cause he knows a part of the family won’t accept it and it will be a lot of drama. I see the opposite, I see it as the sooner you know who the idiots are, the sooner we can cut them from our lives.

I have no interest in having someone in my life that doesn’t accept my brother being gay.

Anyway, that’s his decision not mine, so for now he won’t say anything.

Now, OP is getting married and his brother wants to bring a (male) date.

I’m getting married in a week to an awesome woman, and I cannot wait to be her husband, we are so excited.

A few weeks ago he said he wants to bring his bf to my wedding. I was not expecting that to be honest; he went from 0 to 100 pretty fast.

OP anguished over his response, but in the end, felt that his wedding day was not the time to start what they both suspected would be family drama.

If it was any other occasion I would be supportive obviously, but I don’t think my wedding day is the day to do that. Imagine all the drama and gossip and bull that would happen.

And I don’t want to get the attention away from my fiancée, that’s her day. And I dont wanna have to worry about that on my wedding day, and I think it’s a pretty good reason

I asked him why my wedding day, he said it’s because he wants to celebrate love with the 2 people he loves the most, me and his boyfriend.

This is killing me. I would fight my whole family for my brother and never speak to them again if I had to, but my wedding day is supposed to be a celebration, not a family fight, and I can’t do this to my wife, that might ruin our future.

I didn’t even tell her, she is already stressed out, dont wanna make it even worse

His brother was upset, but agreed to come alone. Still, OP feels crappy.

With a heavy heart, I asked him to please come alone to the wedding, and that I hope he understands me. He started crying and left my house without saying anything.

Next day I got a text and he said “ dont worry, going alone”. I tried calling him but he didn’t answer me, and my parents don’t seem to know what’s happening because they didn’t say anything.

He eventually called me back a few days later, we spoke, he said he understands my side, but things are still weird between us

This is the worst situation of my life, am I the ******* for handling it the way I did?

Does Reddit think he should give himself a break? Let’s find out!

This person says no one is an a——-, but he thinks the brother is in the wrong.

They say what the brother is asking is unfair, even if it is understandable.

The bottom line is that wedding days should be about the bride and groom.

Everyone thinks the brother should come out before the big day.

I hope his brother finds a way to live as himself, even with his family.

I also hope OP has a wonderful wedding day.

If you thought that was an interesting read, check out what happened when a family gave their in-laws a free place to stay in exchange for babysitting, but things changed when they don’t hold up their end of the bargain.