Sibling relationships can be complicated, especially when you throw their spouses in the mix.

This woman took to Reddit to share her story.

Context: My sister (F27) and I (18F) lost our dad a year ago. He was my only parent, mom was never in mine or my sister’s life.

Dad left money (inheritance) for me and sister and she used her inheritance to get new cars and renovate her house.

I live with my aunt right now cause my brother in law didn’t let me stay with my sister.

I’m planning on using my inheritance money to pay for college tuition (I’ve always wanted to be doctor but haven’t decided which branch yet).

The woman’s relationship to her sister became strained by her brother in law.

My sister & I haven’t been close.

It started after she got married to her chronically ill husband who was allowed to make backhanded comments about dad and mock his illness and make a scene at his funeral, only because he’s ill and shouldn’t be held accountable for his behavior.

Despite setting boundaries, the woman’s sister persisted in her request.

I’ve distanced myself, but my sister kept visiting a lot lately venting about my brother in laws condition.

He’s been in & out the hospital for heart problems and in need for a surgery.

She brought up my inheritance money several times but I end up cutting the conversation.

She then straight up asked if I could help pay for her husband’s surgery and she’d pay back in less than a year.

The woman did not want to take the risk.

I felt uneasy cause if I give her money from my inheritance which is a large amount then there’s no guarantee she’ll pay back before It’s time to apply for college.

I’m taking a year gap but I know my sister can’t pay back that much and I felt I was risking my future.

I refused to help and she had a melt down at my aunt’s house calling me heartless, cruel with no empathy.

She said that her husband’s health should be a priority and I needed to help because education is nothing compared to someone’s health and asked if I’d be happy to see her as a widow and my nephew with no father.

My aunt suggested others pay but most of them cut my sister and her husband off.

The woman tried to defend herself in the midst of her sister’s rage.

I argued that her husband’s poor health isn’t my fault after she kept blaming and guiltriping me.

She kept crying and although my aunt decided to stay out of it she said that I should be prepared for permanent damage in my relationship with my sister if I don’t help her now.

She’s been sending texts and pictures of her family telling me this is what I was saying no to a happy healthy family with a healthy husband and father. I cried and felt like I was being selfish not good aunt and sister.

Thankfully, the woman’s friend is there to support and validate her decision.

I asked my friend and he said let them sell the cars and all the luxurious stuff they bought to afford the surgery and warned me if I give them money I’ll never get it back and may not be able to go to medical school.

Reddit users were quick to side with the writer.

One reader called the sister’s behavior what it is- manipulation.

 

Another reader pointed out that the sister does have other options.

This person echoed the woman’s friend’s advice.

A great reminder that luxurious items can’t replace health and security.

If you liked that post, check out this story about a guy who was forced to sleep on the couch at his wife’s family’s house, so he went to a hotel instead.