I don’t think most parents set out to really mess up their kids, but that doesn’t mean it doesn’t happen anyway.

The best thing to do is apologize and try to change, but a good number of people think it seems easier to just start over with a fresh kid.

This young lady lost her father very young and was emotionally abandoned by her mother.

I (17f) lost my dad when I was 5.

My parents were married but I remember dad being more present in my early memories than mom and when my dad died, I know my mom wasn’t there for me.

Her relatives have largely raised her.

She left me to raise myself or she roped in some extended family to take care of me, usually grandparents.

But she wouldn’t always do that and I was sort of forced to become independent and more mature in some ways to raise myself.

Like I had to make sure I ate, did homework, got to school on time all without my mom helping me.

The most she’d do is make some food but she wouldn’t even tell me she had.

I usually had to search the fridge to find it.

My grandparents were the ones who celebrated my birthdays with me and they were the ones who typically went to my school for parent conferences.

My mom doesn’t know me.

She couldn’t tell you what classes I take in high school, what my favorite food or color is, who my friends and best friends are, nothing.

Seven years later, her mom remarried and had two new kids.

Five years ago she met her husband Sam and pretty quickly, like before they were living together, my mom got pregnant.

So Sam moved in and my mom married him.

Her daughter was born 4 years ago and her son followed along 2 years ago.

She’s the best mom ever to them and her eldest is resentful.

And right away I see the difference in how my mom is with them.

She knows them, she loves them, she dedicates time to them, she advocates for them. All the things I do not remember her ever doing for me.

She eats with them and plays with them and she takes her daughter to preschool every day and takes her for a treat after.

It sucks to see.

I didn’t get a good mom but I see she had her in it to be a good mom and chose not to be.

Sam isn’t as good as my dad was though. But he’s still better than my mom ever was to me.

So, she doesn’t want any part of it.

Last week my mom asked me to babysit for her and Sam and I said no.

My mom was shocked and asked me why I wouldn’t babysit.

I told her I had work and I had plans with friends.

She told me she would have expected me to want time with the kids.

I told her I don’t want time with her do over family.

She asked me what that meant and I said Sam and the kids are her do over family.

She is a better mom to her younger kids and she and Sam have created their own perfect little family with them and their kids. But she was never that for me.

I told her I have zero interest in helping her out with the do over family and I pointed out that it was the most she had said to me in years.

Because she normally doesn’t talk to me or include me in anything and the only reason she was speaking to me is she wanted something.

Her mother thinks she’s awful.

She was all “how dare you say that about Sam and the kids” and she told me I had an awful attitude and she hopes the kids never pick up on how I feel about them and their dad.

She told me they deserve better than being described that way and she told me I had some nerve to be jealous that her kids have a happy family life.

I laughed and told her she only cared about them and that was clear. She called me a nasty little b***h.

AITA?

Does Reddit? You know they’ll tell her the truth!

The top comment says she can choose her own family.

This person says she could try again to make her mom understand.

They’re not seeing much hope for the future.

Of course, the younger kids aren’t to blame.

Her mom was way out of line.

I do not think this young lady is wrong to feel hurt.

If her mother doesn’t apologize and sympathize with her feelings I doubt they’ll ever have much of a relationship again.

If you thought that was an interesting story, check out what happened when a family gave their in-laws a free place to stay in exchange for babysitting, but things changed when they don’t hold up their end of the bargain.