When being generous backfires: a tale of targeted restaurant selection.

Wouldn’t you want to be as accommodating as possible if someone offered to pay for your dinner on your birthday?

Most would – but not the people in this story.

WIBTA if I rescinded my offer to pay for a friends birthday dinner after they picked somewhere I can’t eat?

My friend Luke is turning 40 and I offered to pay for him and a group of our friends to have dinner anywhere Luke wanted.

Luke knows I’ve been vegan since my 20s and it’s never been an issue before.

Wait til you hear what’s on the menu.

When I asked where he made reservations he said a local BBQ place that is famous here for having a menu that mocks people who don’t eat meat.

Like literally has a section that says “Vegetarian options: don’t let the door hit you on your way out”.

I asked what he expected me to eat, and he got huffy and said well it’s his birthday so it shouldn’t matter.

I should eat before getting there and just order drinks while everyone else eats dinner and still enjoy everyone’s company etc.

So she’s peeved by the whole thing.

This sounds miserable to me.

I had zero expectations of Luke picking somewhere vegan friendly.

Heck I expected him to pick a steakhouse and I would’ve been fine with a salad and some sides.

I didn’t expect him to choose somewhere that prides themselves on meat being in every single dish on the menu.

I want to tell him nevermind, and buy him a traditional birthday gift instead, but feel like a massive AH for taking back my offer.

I don’t know what to do tbh 🤷🏻‍♀️

She then fills us in on the group size, the cost, and the initial text she sent to her ‘friend’.

This is a group of 9, so I’m also feeling miffed about spending $300+ on a meal I can’t eat.

The exact text I sent said this:

“hey hey, I wanna take you and the friend fam out to dinner for your birthday, make a reservation somewhere and let me know”

Let’s see how folks reacted.

Like this person who pointed out how inconsiderate the restaurant choice actually was.

Another person offered OP to take a real hard look at this ‘friendship’ of theirs.

Another clear cut NTA vote for this person.

While one commenter suggested what OP should do next.

I don’t see how they could remain friends after this.

And surely the other guy realized that before he chose a BBQ joint.

If you liked that story, check out this post about a group of employees who got together and why working from home was a good financial decision.