She Went To “Mix Dishes” At Her Boyfriends House, And Ended Up In The Middle Of A Screaming Match About What’s “Appropriate”
by Trisha Leigh
Everyone has different food preferences. Something might seem weird or gross to you but not to your roommate.
But if everyone is paying for their own meal, shouldn’t you let them have at it?
This young lady spends a good amount of time at her boyfriend’s family home.
I(23f Chinese Australian) have been dating Andrew (26m Half Vietnamese half Australian) for 4 years, and regularly stay at his place on the weekend.
He lives at home with his parents and older sister Hayley (30f).
Due to this, she chips in a small amount for groceries.
Not too long ago, Hayley suggested that since I stay over often, I should start paying them for groceries and bills, though I’m still a student so they aren’t too strict with the amount.
I transfer them $50-100 here and there to cover my share. His family treats me very well and I respect them, I have been really happy in my relationship so what happened today was quite shocking to me.
Recently, his mother made a delicious meal and when she went to get leftovers, she wanted to “mix” dishes.
Andrew’s mother, Louise (60f), is Vietnamese and cooks amazing food regularly.
I love her cooking! Today she had cooked a delicious pork rib and taro soup, and I ate some for lunch.
At dinner, Andrew was going to make some instant noodles, so I asked him to make me a pack of Shin Ramen (Korean spicy noodles).
When it was done, I decided I wanted some of the pork rib in my noodle, and mix some of the soup in my bowl.
Her boyfriend and his mother gave her a really hard time about it.
Louise hastily stopped me, saying that no I should not mix the soup with my ramen. I was confused.
Andrew came over and said the pork rib soup should be eaten alone and not mixed with my spicy noodles, since the flavors are different.
I argued that Koreans also eat spicy rib soup, so it shouldn’t be too weird, and since I’ve had the rib soup by itself for lunch, I wanted to try a different flavor.
However Louise insisted that the way I mix food is wrong, and Andrew said I should just eat my spicy noodles and maybe come back for a bowl of soup later.
The argument got quite heated as I didn’t understand why mixing food is such a crime (this had happened a few times before, when I added different condiments or mixed stir-fry with noodles, Louise pointed out that my eating habits are strange, but she never said more than that).
When she left the room to try to gather herself, his sister followed and they ended up yelling at each other.
Then I got overwhelmed and ran to Andrew’s room and started crying.
Hayley barged in and began yelling at me (she’s normally kind to me, but she does have a bit of a tempter) “why are you throwing a tantrum in someone else’s house? We are feeding you food and you’re so ungrateful!”
I was really upset because I think I did nothing wrong, so in the heat of the moment I stood up and screamed back “I paid for the food, why should you care how I eat? I’m not forcing you to eat what I eat! If I go to a restaurant and pay for a plate of food, you think they’d kick me out for eating the food wrong? How ridiculous!”
Now, she’s not sure how she’ll be able to go back.
In the end, I was so angry I packed my bags and stormed out of their house (after Hayley got so mad she said I’m no longer welcome at their house), and now I’m on the way home and crying, wondering what I did wrong.
It really doesn’t make sense!
I tried to put myself in their shoes, and say if Andrew wanted to eat Chinese dumplings with tomato sauce, my Chinese family and I would not care at all (we’d just laugh it off due to personal tastes).
So AITA for mixing food/having different food preferences and upsetting my partner’s family?
What does Reddit think?
The top comment is wondering how things went so far.
This person thinks her boyfriend should have had her back.
They sound kind of controlling.
No one called the food police.
Hopefully this doesn’t happen again in the future.
This definitely got out of hand.
You should always let someone go and de-escalate if necessary.
If you thought that was an interesting story, check this one out about a man who created a points system for his inheritance, and a family friend ends up getting almost all of it.
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