Dealing with chronic health problems while starting a family is tough.

But when her girlfriend blamed her for missing their son’s birth due to her medical emergency, it ignited a serious conflict between them.

Let’s see how it all went down.

AITA for calling my girlfriend selfish for being upset I wasn’t at the birth of our kid because I was also in hospital?

My girlfriend and I (both 26f) have a son who is just over a year old. And there was some major “drama” during the birth.

For some context, I have chronic heart problems and have been struggling with it since birth. I had a surgery when I was an infant, another at 7 and another at 15. I haven’t needed one since and have been doing well all around.

When my girlfriend was 6 months pregnant, I got really, really ill and it took a massive toll on my lungs and heart.

I pulled through but spent about a month in the hospital. I felt so awful that I couldn’t be with my girlfriend (Jane), but she was super great with it.

Then the unthinkable happened.

Then, 2 days before the due date, I was rushed into the hospital due to a build-up of fluid around my heart. I had to get the fluid removed ASAP.

When the fluid was all out, my brother-in-law came to visit me and he told me Jane had given birth. I was both ecstatic and devastated.

I had to spend the night under supervision but as soon as I was allowed to leave, I went to the maternity wing to see my girlfriend and baby.

It’s a whirlwind of emotions.

At the time, all negative emotions were smothered by our bundle of joy, but over the months, Jane has been showing more and more signs of resentment towards me.

It came to a head last night during our date night.

I had the whole day planned. Baby had gone to grandmas, ordered her favorite take out, got all her favorite movies ready to play, spa evening planned, etc. But she wasn’t feeling any of it.

Trouble has been brewing for awhile now.

I asked her what was wrong and she said she’s angry at me for missing the birth.

I’ll admit, I didn’t handle it as best as I wanted to, but we argued for a bit and I ended up calling her selfish for saying that.

I asked her if she understood the severity of the situation and that I was very ill. She got up and said she wasn’t going to let me patronize her and that she’s never been disrespected like that before and that she’s going to bed.

AITA?

Of course you want your spouse to be there for the birth of your child, but she had no control over what happened to her.

What did Reddit think?

This user seems to think Jane’s priorities are a bit out of wack.

Births are important, but paying attention to your health is too.

Both parties deserve a little compassion.

A little resentment may be justified, but there’s a limit.

While both parties are entitled to their emotions, it’s how you deal with them that matters.

It may be a long road ahead, but a little compassion goes a long way.

If you enjoyed that story, read this one about a mom who was forced to bring her three kids with her to apply for government benefits, but ended up getting the job of her dreams.