Hang on tight, folks!

Because this is a wild one!

It’s a story someone was nice enough to share on Reddit and it has it all: intrigue, drama, backstabbing…and wasted college kids!

Check it out and see what you think!

You break my cellphone, I break your everything.

“I lived with 3 people sophomore year in college.

One guy never left his room (I literally saw him like 5 times), the other guy (lets go with Ted) was kind of jerk but very non-confrontational and would just leave whenever the **** hits the fan.

The girl (who we will call Loony) was a total *****. Like raging music late into the night, total slob and mean as hell. Example, she told one of my friends (who was bi, and not fully out) that “A REAL man wouldn’t be watching project runway, so why are you in our apartment anyways?”

Sounds like a disaster waiting to happen…

Mostly, she was irritating and messy, but one night she crossed the line. I had gone out with friends but about 1 hour into the night realized I’d left my cell phone at home. I excused myself from my friends and headed down the hill to the apartment.

We lived on the 4th floor. When I got into the courtyard, I heard Loony yell “Hey *****, catch THIS!” and look up to see something silver flying at me. I actually hit the deck not knowing what it was and hear a crash as my cellphone shatters on the asphalt. I don’t know if I have ever been madder in my life.

Rather than start screaming in the courtyard, I silently go upstairs where Ted is making drinks. Classy folks that we are, he’s making Hawaiian punch and vodka.

I asked him if he knew Loony was in my room with my cell (where she wasn’t allowed) and he goes “yeah, but I didn’t want her to get mad at me, so I didn’t say anything.”

I decide I’ve had enough of both of them. I tell him I’ll get the drinks (I worked as a bartender, so I usually was in charge of drinks).

Time to make some drinks!

He smiles and walks out of the kitchen. I put the vodka back in the freezer and get the everclear. A LOT of everclear. Happily, Hawaiian punch and handful of sugar mixed in hides that fairly well.

I go upstairs where Loony is sitting on my bed. She’s had a little to drink, but not enough. I had her one of the drinks and Ted gets the other.

I explain I’m not drinking as I came home due to an upset stomach and hey, I was planning on dumping that flip phone anyways for a sweet razr, so no worries. Loony grins and downs the drink. I offer to go get another and she hands me the cup.

Ted is working through slower but he’s a lightweight so I’m not worried. Loony downs another drink in quick succession and then I settle in and wait until I’m satisfied that both of them are in black-out mode.

I start handing them all of their expensive stuff – we are talking laptops, TVs, cellphones, external harddrives, etc – and tell them how COOL it would be to throw them out the window and watch them blow up like my cell phone!

Go for it!

I also tell them its my stuff so they don’t have to worry about it, because I don’t care if they throw my stuff out as long as they don’t touch the gerbil. I’ll hand them all the right – aka only their stuff – to make sure no one gets too excited and hurts the gerbil. Everybody likes the gerbil, so this sentence is received with solemn nods.

They begin enthusiastically throwing all of their expensive electronics out the window. The entire apartment complex is watching them throw **** into the courtyard. We attract a small crowd of students walking past the complex who stop to watch.

When they run out of stuff, I help both of them get to bed over the course of another hour or so of talking them into sleeping it off. They both pass out. I quietly leave the apartment complex.

I meet up with my friends again and tell them I need to stay somewhere for the night. Someone volunteers a couch.

Here we go…

The next morning, I return around 10 am where my apartment is in full-out panic mode. Loony is screaming her face off and tells me “she is going to kill me” when she sees me in the courtyard (she is still upstairs in the apartment).

Ted is in the courtyard crying openly (okay I felt a little bad about Ted at this point). As I go to open the door to my apartment, Loony body slams me up against the opposite wall, screaming that she’s going to kill me for ruining all of her stuff.

Guy in the apartment across the hall opens up his door and shoves me behind him, telling Loony “You crazy *****. You and Ted got wasted off your ***** last night and threw all your own **** out the window. SilverElf didn’t have anything to do with it. She wasn’t even here – she just got home! Last night she left with her friends to go to dinner way before that **** happened.”

Time for a truth bomb.

Loony’s jaw drops open. “But it all went out HER window! It HAD to be her! She was definitely here!” Neighbor shakes his head “Dude. The entire apartment complex saw you doing it. Silverelf stayed out last night. You’re an alcoholic.”

She starts to cry and goes downstairs to continue sorting through the wreckage. My cellphone is located and I get fake wasted, telling both of them they are going to have to pay to replace it.

By now, several other neighbors have confirmed to them that they in fact threw everything out the window and that I was not home last night. They are both sobbing as they agree to buy me a new cellphone.

Don’t feel too bad – mommy and daddy paid for all their things to be replaced. But they both had to rewrite some term papers that were lost.

They were both notorious after that for being some of the dumbest people on campus – the story of what they did having spread like wildfire.”

Here’s how people reacted on Reddit.

This reader spoke up.

Another person chimed in.

This individual shared their thoughts.

This person told a story.

Another person spoke up.

That sure was a wild ride!

If you enjoyed this story, check out this post about a daughter who invited herself to her parents’ 40th anniversary vacation for all the wrong reasons.