Celebrating birthdays is important for many people, even as adults.

What happens when the birthday events are things that the celebrant really doesn’t enjoy?

That is what the man in this story was facing, let’s see how he handled it.

AITA for telling my wife I didn’t enjoy the birthday surprise she planned for me?

My (36M) wife (37F) said she would plan something for my birthday.

She asked if there was anything I wanted to do, and I told her no.

It’s just another day for some people.

At 36, I don’t have any expectations for my birthday.

We’ve been together for 10 years, married for 7.

We have 3 kids under 6, so planning activities can be tricky.

Traveling is tough and staying in uncomfortable places with kids is stressful.

Hopefully this is fun.

So, my wife plans something, packs an overnight suitcase for everyone, and loads up our van.

We drive 1h 45m to a small town, then take a long, rocky, narrow road to a tiny cabin Airbnb in a remote, heavily wooded area.

It’s a single room with a galley kitchen, one bed, and a pullout couch.

It’s cramped with three kids.

Not very well planned.

There’s not much to do, no walking trails, and nowhere to drive except back on that awful road.

I’m asked to drive back to get dinner from a nearby bar.

I’m surprised, and not in a good way.

I don’t say anything bad about the property, but I can’t hide my feelings and she can tell I’m not a fan.

This is nice at least.

We unpack, walk around, she has some gifts for me to open in front of the kids.

We have cake and then spend 4-5 hours trying to pass the time. (The highlight is sneaking in a quickie in the outdoor bathtub.)

After that, we go through the tiresome routine of getting all three kids to sleep, which is extra hard in a tiny cabin.

BTW I sleep on an air mattress because our youngest co-sleeps and needs Mom at night.

We wake up early because the cabin has no curtains. My wife tells me we’re going to do a 5k bubble and color run.

I smile and say “Ooook let’s do it,” not wanting to sound disappointed but probably failing to hide it.

Wait, he’s not a runner?

I’m not a runner, I’ve never said I wanted to run, but whatever, let’s try it.

We pack up and head to the event.

It’s a small, cheap event on a hot day.

Our two youngest don’t want to do this, but we start the race anyway. Our oldest takes off, causing us to lose him twice.

I frantically try to catch up, ending up sweaty, winded, and with aching knees.

Not fun.

After my wife finishes with our other 2 kids, we walk around a small street fair and let the kids play.

It’s fine, but I’m ready to rest.

My wife tells me we’re supposed to meet friends at the beach later, so we have a 2-hour drive back, hoping the kids nap in the car.

I take a nap, feeling quiet and not in a good mood.

From bad to worse.

We get to the beach and two of our kids start melting down.

I’m done with the day and would prefer to be home. Eventually they chill, we find some shade and it’s fine.

When we get home, it’s a mad dash to get the kids showered and in bed, while I unpack, clean the car and house.

My wife asks what’s wrong, and I tell her I appreciate her effort, but it didn’t feel like she planned it with me in mind.

I don’t like running, I want comfort when traveling with the kids, and it was exhausting.

It was a lot of effort for something not enjoyable.

She flips out, devastated that I didn’t enjoy it and angry at me for not “just being grateful somebody planned something for me.”

AITA?

This was definitely not a great day for him, but he seemed to handle it well.

Let’s see what the commenters say about it.

Is it really the thought that counts?

It doesn’t even make sense.

Does she even know him?

Yup, the day was for her.

This day sounds exhausting.

There is no way this day was actually for him.

If you thought that was an interesting story, check out what happened when a family gave their in-laws a free place to stay in exchange for babysitting, but things changed when they don’t hold up their end of the bargain.