Going through a serious illness is never a happy moment, but it is especially heartbreaking when a child has to suffer.

The universe is cruel, and it’s always the most innocent among us who seems to be given the hardest battles to fight.

But when this mom was tired of her cousin comparing her daughter’s cancer to her own son’s myriad of health issues, she put her foot down.

Was she being insensitive to her niece’s diagnosis? Decide for yourself!

AITA for telling my cousin “Your daughter isn’t the only one who’s suffering here”?

In 2010, my husband and I adopted Sam. He comes from a family that have been practicing incestuous marriage for many generations.

His bio mom didn’t do the best during her pregnancy with Sam (she drinks alcohol, smokes cigarette and using drugs). She also tried to abort him multiple times.

Sam survived but has to deal with the consequences, which is tons of health issues, both congenital and acquired.

I and my cousin, Vivi are really close, because our moms are twins. We spent our childhood together and we were living in the same house for several years.

But they didn’t get to spend as much time together as they used to..

Since she got married and moved to South Korea, we only talk every once in awhile.

Vivi’s daughter, Val, was diagnosed with Leukemia when she was 9, 7 years ago. She went into remission, but relapsed.

Vivi knows about Sam’s health issues.

But since Val’s Cancer diagnosis in 2017, every time we talk about our kids health struggles, she’ll say things like “I’m grateful that he doesn’t have Cancer”.

“It’s a great thing that he doesn’t have to go through chemo”. “You know, they’re (Sam’s diagnoses) better than Cancer”. “You’ll never know how painful it is to deal with Cancer”, etc.

But she said that just because Sam doesn’t have cancer doesn’t mean that he wasn’t still going through a lot of medical challenges..

I tried to tell Vivi that, “I’m grateful Sam doesn’t have Cancer, I’m so sorry for what you’re going through. But please know that Sam is also struggling with his health.”

“He also experiences constant pain and has to go through many procedures. He’s disabled, and I would appreciate if we support each other without comparing between the two.”

But she continues to do the same. Vivi contacted me early in the morning and told me that Val is sick with influenza B.

In giving the news of Val’s sickness, Vivi couldn’t help but compare the two children’s illnesses…

And started her attitude again with saying “I’m glad that Sam doesn’t have Cancer, so he wouldn’t know how a common virus could be life-threatening with Cancer.”

I told her, “You know that isn’t true. You know he is immunodeficient and you know what it means. And you don’t have to be ‘glad’, Val isn’t the only one who’s suffering here.”

She called me a jerk for saying such a thing and said there is not a single one of Sam’s diagnoses could compare to Cancer.

When Sam was younger, he went through a few rounds of chemotherapy to treat another condition. He’s also on antibody and immunoglobulin therapy, and undergoes regular infusions.

I know those probably aren’t comparable to Cancer and chemo is poison, but they are not side-effects-free.

What a tragic situation for both children, made more exhausting by Vivi’s need to make their illnesses a competition!

Reddit said that while there was no doubt her daughter’s cancer was a terrible thing, it did no good to anyone to compare.

And another person said you should never try to find “the positive” in a child’s serious illness.

Many people pointed out that all she asked was for her cousin to be respectful of her son’s condition.

And even this cancer patient said that trying to “outdo” another person’s illness is just plain wrong.

Sickness isn’t a competition, people!

Especially not between kids.

If you thought that was an interesting story, check out what happened when a family gave their in-laws a free place to stay in exchange for babysitting, but things changed when they don’t hold up their end of the bargain.