Growing up can be rough for many people, especially if you have mental health challenges or an unsupportive family.

It is great when as an adult you can reconcile and build a closer relationship, but that is not always possible.

The man in this story tried to accept his family again, but they refused to stop bringing up the past, so he had to move on.

Read on for the full details.

AITA for telling my family I’m done accepting any invites from them?

I’ll (33m) hold myself accountable and admit that when I was younger I did some really bad things to my family (stealing mostly) and I was arrested when I was 17 for my behavior.

This started when I was maybe 13/14.

It is good that he can admit his mistakes.

I stole money, gaming consoles, my parents car (which is what got me arrested).

I was very angry during this period of my life and I also yelled at cursed at them a lot.

When I was arrested I didn’t see them again for over a decade.

At the time I was still so angry, pretty sure my last words for over a decade to them was I hoped they’d go to **** or something like that.

Getting arrested was the best moment of my young life.

Before I started stealing I had some other issues.

It sounds like the parents (and siblings) did not do a good job of supporting him.

Undiagnosed ADHD meant I had no attention span and ability to stay still.

It embarrassed my family who gave me a very hard time.

My parents were always correcting me, my siblings were always saying they didn’t want to be seen with me.

I got yelled at on the daily for not being normal.

My siblings started making stuff up.

I stole their toy (when I hadn’t) or I’d spilled something intentionally (again, hadn’t).

They’d blame me for something they did (broken glass) and back each other up.

They joined in some other kids in calling me a weirdo because I was so all over the place.

My parents never believed me.

They’d tell me I was “too out of control” for them to take my word for anything.

Eventually I got so angry that I started doing stuff and wanted to get back at them for all of this.

In 2021 after 13 years I made contact again with them for the first time.

I reached out and apologized for my behavior.

I told them I wanted to have a relationship with them again but if they weren’t interested I would understand.

Wow, it took them a long time to respond.

Five months later I got a reply from my parents who said after talking it over everyone wanted me back in the family.

I was already married to my wife at that point which surprised them.

I apologized again in person.

I showed them I had changed and was sorry.

But they keep bringing up the past and telling others what I did.

Or cracking jokes about not accepting gifts or watch your wallet around me.

It’s been a constant thing.

This wife sounds very supportive.

My wife called them out on it and she told them if they were agreeing to forgive me and move forward all that stuff should be left behind.

They said it doesn’t mean they lose the right to bring it up.

She said they were trying to humiliate me with it.

I told them I’d like for them to stop bringing it up.

That it was difficult to move forward if that was thrown out to put me on the spot.

I also reminded them a lot of stuff my siblings mentioned was stuff they made up.

They acted like it didn’t matter.

Which was what led me to decide this.

It sounds like this was the right decision.

My wife and I talked, because we’re expecting a baby, and it’s just not a good environment for our child.

My family are mad that I told them I will no longer accept any invites from them and it’s best we stop forcing this.

AITA?

Ideally, you should do everything you can to keep a relationship with your family, but sometimes it just isn’t possible to accomplish.

Let’s see what other people in the comments had to say.

Yeah, he handled it very maturely.

He has forgiven them, they can’t let it go.

He really is protecting his child.

Yup, they needed a family scapegoat.

Yeah, having minimal contact is completely fine.

This family needs to learn what forgiveness actually looks like.

Or not. I guess they’re already dealing with those consequences.

If you liked that post, check out this story about a guy who was forced to sleep on the couch at his wife’s family’s house, so he went to a hotel instead.