When you are part of a family, you sometimes need to change plans in order to accommodate everyone.

What happens if your mom always wants to plan everything around your step-sister, and never asks her to change plans?

That is what the man in this story is facing, and he is refusing to change his wedding date.

Check out the details below.

AITA for not planning my wedding around my stepsister’s busy schedule?

My fiancée (26f) and I (29m) are planning our wedding and we set the date not too long ago.

My mom reached out after learning the date and all panicked told me that my stepsister (27f) couldn’t make it and I should call her up and check different dates to find when would work better.

You can’t pick a date that will please everyone.

I told her that wasn’t happening and our date is the date we’ve chosen, if my stepsister can’t make it then the world won’t end.

My mom was taken aback by my response.

She asked me how I could say that. She told me a sibling or any immediate family member missing a wedding is a big deal.

For background info: My dad died when I was 6 and my brother was 5.

When I was 8 our mom told us she had a boyfriend and when I was 10 she remarried.

Her husband had my stepsister with his ex-wife and they shared custody.

Our plans once mom remarried revolved around my stepsister.

Christmas every other year was celebrated at a different time because she was with her mom and not us.

Family parties were missed if she wasn’t around because mom was pissed at anyone in the extended family who didn’t make sure my stepsister could be there.

She would tell my brother and me we should wait to do something for our stepsister to be there OR she insisted on it and refused to let us go without her.

We resented it.

And we did speak up but mom said immediate family needed to be there for Christmas, for example.

Well, she is family.

I told her she wasn’t my immediate family so I didn’t need to wait.

Mom also resented the fact we weren’t with her every other Christmas Eve because we’d be with our paternal family (court ordered time our grandparents won).

She never made everything stop for us though.

She’d just tell us we could choose to be with the family vs going with “other people” (meaning our family).

Over time it got worse with her saying “why did you see x movie without stepsister, why go to the arcade event weekend one and not wait for weekend too so she can join”.

It was insanity.

It really did a lot of harm to our relationship with mom.

Neither of us wanted or needed our stepsister included to enjoy it.

Neither of us wanted to be forced to plan stuff around her.

We had no choice.

That’s not how things are anymore.

Which mom was shocked I was putting my foot down so strongly about it.

Blended families can be difficult.

She mentioned the immediate family/sibling thing and I told her I have never once considered my stepsister my sibling or my immediate family and I will no longer plan things around her because her attendance is not essential to me.

My mom started freaking out on the phone and saying it would really hurt her stepdaughter and husband’s feelings to hear this and how she wanted us all to be together for something as big as a wedding.

Why can’t step-sister change her plans?

She told me she’d pay the difference for a different day and I said no.

I told her my days of catering to my stepsister’s schedule are over.

Mom went nuts on the phone.

I ended the call and I’m dodging her calls and texts now because she’s mad.

AITA?

You can’t cater to one person for everything in life, even if it is your step-sister.

Let’s see what the people in the comments have to say.

Yup, put it right back on her.

This is the first thing I thought of as well.

You really can’t force this type of thing.

I’m curious about this as well.

Yup, this is their special day. Everyone else can work around them.

What is so hard about treating all your kids equally Mom?

If you thought that was an interesting story, check out what happened when a family gave their in-laws a free place to stay in exchange for babysitting, but things changed when they don’t hold up their end of the bargain.