When a family member needs help, most people who are able are happy to be able to help.

But what happens when your family members refuse to help themselves and expect you to do everything for them indefinitely?

That is the situation the hard-working daughter and sister in this story is in, and she just wants to walk away.

Read on for the full details.

WIBTA if I walk away from helping my family?

I, 47f, am completely fed up with my family’s attitude.

I am divorced, and almost done raising my kids, the youngest turns 18 next month.

What a terrible situation to be in.

My mother is disabled, but lives alone, she is terrible with money (this plays into the overall issue).

My sister, Liza, 42f, has recently been divorced and has moved home from out of state.

Liza has over the past few years been consistently getting worse in her overall mental health.

She attacked her ex husband which ultimately ended the marriage, he has full custody of her 3 kids.

She has become a hermit.

She needs to get some mental help.

Doesn’t bathe, her house is filthy (garbage stacked 2 ft high on countertops) and she refuses to work.

She is having “episodes” of delusions (she believes she is a CIA operative, was kidnapped from the royal family and is a true princess).

The money she received from her divorce is gone.

And next week the last of her inheritance from my father is gone.

She refuses to let mom help her, as that is the person she claims has “kidnapped” her.

Mom is not financially able to help her.

I help pay my mother’s bills because she is so terrible at money.

Now my sister will lose her home, the one I helped her get (she paid, I did paperwork).

She will be losing her car and her light bill is due.

Everyone in my family expects me to help her and mom.

I am the only one who in a financial shape to help (I took my part of the inheritance and purchased 2 rentals, plus paid off my home and car).

I draw a decent amount of pay from my job, but I am by no means rich.

If I didn’t pay out to help my mom and my sister so much, I would be decently comfortable financially.

From the back story, you should see my overall issues with my family.

I am expected to clean my sister’s home, I have been asked to pay for the car and the light bill, plus all groceries for her home, after next month, her lot rent is due.

That is an unreasonable amount of money each month.

If I added it all up, it’s about $1200 a month.

We have called crisis team out twice on my sister and they can’t legally make her go into an institution because the law states that she must be harming herself or others.

I am trying to get my sister on disability, but she refuses to cooperate.

She claims she isn’t crazy and that the bible states the government must give her money to live.

So WIBTA if I just walked away from everyone?

I am at my wits end.

I have no peace in my life.

I have no life outside of what mom and Liza need.

I am just done and wouldn’t mind a padded room myself at this point.

WIBTA?

You have to take care of yourself before you can take care of others, so there is nothing wrong with taking a step back here.

Let’s see what the people in the comments have to say.

The system failed them, not the sister.

Exactly, help is for people who help themselves.

It is sad that you can’t fix everyone’s problems, but you really can’t.

You have to take care of yourself.

Yes, help them with resources, not with money or endless effort.

You can’t help people who refuse to help themselves.

It’s an unfortunate life rule.

If you enjoyed that story, read this one about a mom who was forced to bring her three kids with her to apply for government benefits, but ended up getting the job of her dreams.