When you and your spouse agree on important decisions before marriage, it sets a strong foundation for the future.

But what happens when one partner decides to break those agreements without consulting the other?

This husband doesn’t agree with how his wife has changed their parenting plans, but is wondering if he should have made a controversial choice in response.

Here’s how it all played out.

AITA for cutting the amount I contribute to our budget after my wife refused to stick to our agreement regarding our kids.

My wife and I agreed before we got married on a lot of the big things: where we would live, how we would deal with our families, how we would raise our kids, stuff like that.

These were deal breakers.

One of our decisions was that as long as our kids were full-time students, they would not have to contribute monetarily to the household budget.

Obviously, they would still have chores and such.

If they weren’t full-time students, they would get a six-month grace period, after which they had to pay rent and buy their own food.

Rent would be equal to 1/4 of full-time minimum wage work.

The two older kids followed the arrangement, but the youngest was different.

We agreed on this in 1998.

Our eldest did not want to go to university and used the six months after graduation to work, save money, and plan a trip around the world.

When he got back, he started an apprenticeship and became a welder.

Our middle kid went to university and is now a nurse.

Our youngest did one semester of college and decided it wasn’t for him. He also decided that he didn’t want to work.

His wife made a big decision without discussing it with him.

After six months, I told him that he was now responsible for his rent and food budget.

He went crying to his mom saying that he couldn’t afford that.

She said he didn’t have to pay. She didn’t discuss it with me first. It was a unilateral decision on her part.

She pays all our bills. I give her a set amount every month to pay for everything.

The money she earns, she either spends however she wants or it goes into our vacation fund.

So, I decided to reduce my contribution to our budget by the cost of rent and one-third of our grocery bill.

Here’s where things are at now.

She asked me why I did that, and I said that we had an agreement that she chose to ignore, so I did the same.

She has been paying the difference out of the money that would normally go into our vacation account, and she cut back on her personal spending.

But she is very mad that I am doing this.

She says I’m an ******* for being financially manipulative.

I think she needs to either accept it or get her poor baby to grow up.

She tried getting our older kids on her side, but they agree with me.

AITA?

It like they need to communicate with each other better.

Let’s see how the fine folks over at Reddit weigh in on this situation.

This person thinks they need to sit down and talk it out.

Here’s someone who is on his side 100%.

According to this comment, they are both in the wrong.

Great point – this is toxic behavior on both sides.

This person disagrees with charging your kids rent altogether.

They need to find common ground.

There’s no doubt they both love their son, so rather than go at each other, they should team up and help him get his life on the right path.

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