One woman recently moved into a new home with her partner, who pays for most of their expenses.

With plenty of closet space, she brought only the clothes she wanted after a major decluttering effort.

However, her partner thinks she still has too much and insists they go through everything together.

Things escalated when she refused, and now she’s wondering if she’s in the wrong.

AITA for refusing to throw away a bunch of my clothes because my partner thinks I have too many?

My partner (41M) and I (34F) moved into a new home recently. He is paying for the home as well as the vast majority of our expenses- he is well off and my net worth is about 3% of his for context.

In our home, we have a walk in closet. Currently, I use 60% of the closet, he uses 20% and 20% is unused and available for him to use.

In addition to the closet space in our bedroom, we currently have two guest bedrooms with large closets as well.

So. Much. Space!

Prior to purchasing our new home, we lived separately.

When moving here, I was very deliberate about which of my clothes I was bringing and used it as an opportunity to get rid of a ton of items of clothes that I no longer want.

My partner has said to me “Hey, I want us to go through your clothes and decide which ones we’re keeping and which ones you don’t wear or use and we should get rid of.”

I responded “Ok we can, but I already did that, and I only brought over the clothes I know I want to keep, so I don’t think this is necessary and won’t lead to me getting rid of them.”

He responded that he still wanted to go through them, it’s fine if we don’t end up getting rid of anything, but also that “he doesn’t want to bring junk into our new home” and that I “have too many clothes.”

Hmmm, seems a bit overbearing.

He also offered that we could go through his things and do the same, but I said that I don’t have any problem with how many clothes he has and I’m not concerned about what he keeps/doesn’t keep.

To me, this whole thing is unnecessary and I don’t even see why it needs to be an issue.

We have the space, I already did what he is asking me to do on my own, and also I’m having a hard time seeing why this even matters/is an issue.

This isn’t the first time this has come up- he’s brought it up multiple times, leading to a similar conversation though last night’s was especially vitriolic.

Oh dear.

I got upset about it when we were discussing it last night and said “why can’t I bring what I want into our new home?”

He said “Fine I don’t care bring anything and why don’t you pay for everything too?” and then he left because he needed a break.

Reddit, am I being unreasonable here?

It seems the real issue might not be about closet space at all…

Reddit says the partner is being silly, and actually kind of controlling.

This person doesn’t see the relationship lasting.

This person thinks the same.

And this person says he really just doesn’t get a say here.

Closet chaos or control freak? You decide.

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