College Friends Started Talking About Financial Help From Parents, But The Chat Sparked Personal Insults And Now They Don’t Know If They Should Stay Friends
by Chelsea Mize
We’ve all said harsh things we don’t mean when someone pushes our buttons.
But this disagreement between friends cut real deep, and now the people involved aren’t sure their friendship can be salvaged.
Let’s dive into this dialogue gone wrong!
AITA for telling my friend that I’m sorry her parents don’t love her as much as mine love me?
I (22F) have a friend named Amy (22F) who I met in college. Currently we are in our last semester of college.
I live alone, but she shares her apartment with two other people.
We never really spoke about our finances much, but I know that both of our parents currently pay our rent.
The issue started when we talked about our future plans.
It seemed like an everyday conversation.
I told her that I’m probably going to get a job and do my Master’s at the same time so that I can save up a little, but also to finally have my own money to spend on some things that I love and to travel.
She laughed at me and asked me what kind of salary I expect while working part-time to be able to afford all that.
I shrugged and said I didn’t have any expenses that I’d need to cover really, just food and that’s it.
She looked shocked and asked me about rent and stuff and I said my parents will be paying for it.
Turns out, she put her foot in her mouth.
She then went on a rant about becoming an adult, how she can’t wait to be independent, how she doesn’t want to take money from her parents and stuff like that.
For the most part I tried to nod my head and listen to her, but then she said something like “I’d feel like a bad daughter if I were you.”
And that really made me feel embarrassed.
A burn like that, of course she turned red.
My parents want to pay for my apartment, they can easily afford it, and I’m not the type of person to be ungrateful for it.
I spend a lot of time with them, I know they don’t lack money for anything, they travel, own their house, have a good retirement plan.
They don’t mind paying for me and I don’t mind taking it.
We have a good relationship.
I know this won’t be forever and I don’t expect it to be.
Just a few years until I finish my degree and get a higher paying job.
If everybody was happy, what was the problem?
I got annoyed and told her to drop it, we can talk about something else, but she continued talking about how her parents want her to be a real adult, how I’ll never want to be ambitious unless I struggle and just more and more nonsense.
(Not sure how important it is, but between the two of us, my grades are significantly better and I’m a few exams ahead of her in terms of passing this semester)
That’s when things got ugly.
I just cut her off and said “Well, I don’t know, maybe my parents love me more than yours love you so they want to pay. I’m sorry for that. Can we now talk about something else?”
We didn’t talk since and I do feel bad because I know that love has nothing to do with money.
And looking back, it’s such a rude thing to say, but I just said it to shut her up because she was insulting me and calling me spoiled for no reason.
Some things you can’t take back.
I wasn’t even the one to start this conversation nor did I probe into her finances.
She was the one who kept it going.
Ever since that day I feel a pit in my stomach and I really didn’t want to insult her.
I feel like Amy’s intention wasn’t genuine because she currently accepts her parents paying rent, food, utilities, everything.
So do I.
The conversation was about after college.
Is the friendship over?
I mention my academic success because she said I will never be ambitious when I try really hard.
We also don’t live in the USA, and parents’ support isn’t so uncommon.
And lastly, while this may not convince people, I really do appreciate my parents and everything they do for me.
I don’t plan to leech on them, and this is something they know and that’s what matters to me.
Now everybody’s feelings are hurt.
Would you lose your temper if someone called you a bad child?
Let’s take a look at what other folks on Reddit thought about this!
This person sees both sides… as being wrong.
Another commenter feels like the friend deserved the harsh words.
This Reddit user thinks it’s a matter of acknowledging privilege.
Another person suggests the friendship was no good anyway.
And finally, this person says sometimes you just need to walk away.
Too bad two wrongs don’t make a right.
Hopefully they can both apologize and move on.
If you thought that was an interesting story, check out what happened when a family gave their in-laws a free place to stay in exchange for babysitting, but things changed when they don’t hold up their end of the bargain.
Sign up to get our BEST stories of the week straight to your inbox.