This mom’s strict stance on third-hand smoke exposure has her setting firm boundaries for anyone who wants to hold her infant.

This including her newly-smoking mother-in-law.

But her husband’s reluctance to confront his mom makes this boundary-setting a bit tricky.

Read on for the rest!

WIBTA for asking my husband to set a boundary for my mother-in-law?

I do not allow smokers to hold my infant baby.

No hate on smokers, I just don’t want my infant baby exposed to it intentionally.

My MIL knows how I detest vaping and cigarettes as it casually came up during one of our conversations when I was pregnant.

Fast forward to after giving birth, I recently found out through multiple reliable sources that my MIL has picked up smoking cigarettes.

She has been hiding it from me so she can hold my baby.

A double lie! Not cool.

To my knowledge she wasn’t a smoker.

To boot, she lied to me about why her apartment smelled like someone just lit up a cigarette in her living room and blamed it on the neighbors.

I am going to ask my husband to set the following boundary (because I am too angry to do it politely) if she wants to come into our home and hold our baby.

She has to take a shower in our home, wash her hair, use the clean clothes we bought, and wear a mask.

(I would take her shopping to buy her clothes that she likes).

These are a few tips I picked up from researching what would limit the third hand smoke impregnated in my MILs skin, clothes, hair, and breath.

Just a few stipulations…

I can foresee the conversation not going well because my husband is protective of his mother, and he is also aware about how I feel as it relates to third hand smoke.

Even within my own immediate family who smoke have never asked me to hold my baby.

They appreciate my baby from a far and I respect them for it.

I know I can’t force my MIL to do any of the above and that’s okay; it just means she won’t hold our baby or come into our home.

Your baby, your rules.

As infuriated as I am that my MIL thought it was a great idea to hide this from me and lie about it, I love my MIL.

I would gladly meet her at a restaurant or somewhere public so she can see her grand baby if she finds my request unreasonable; she just can’t hold the baby.

With her husband’s protectiveness over his mom and her own concerns about third-hand smoke, it’s no surprise this mom is caught between respecting family relationships and sticking to her values.

But who really has the final say?

The people of Reddit are torn.

This person is on her side.

But this person says she’s being too extreme.

This person says the idea is good, but lighten the rules.

Smoke, lies, and baby snuggles—can anyone win here?

Only the people who take health seriously, I guess.

If you liked this post, you might want to read this story about a teacher who taught the school’s administration a lesson after they made a sick kid take a final exam.