Christmas is supposed to be the season of giving, but for one divorced dad, it’s turned into the season of negotiating.

After years of bending to his ex’s holiday demands, this year he’s putting his foot down—but is he being firm or just petty?

Read on for the story and decide for yourself.

AITA for refusing a trip for my kid over Christmas?

AITA for saying no to my ex to plan a trip over Christmas with our kid?

A bit of back story.

The last 2 years at Christmas, my parents have planned a trip with my brother and his wife’s family who live in a warm state.

It isn’t easy for us to get there, as we live in Canada and it takes several layovers usually resulting in a loss of a day for travel.

The first year there was a major snowstorm and our flights were cancelled completely.

Last year, our airport started a direct flight to the destination city, which would work out to be a few thousand dollars cheaper and obviously a lot easier travel wise to get there.

The downfall is that it would have required us to leave a few days before Christmas, as it was only a once a week flight.

Sounds like the only thing harder than the travel is co-parenting with your ex.

When I asked, my ex said no because she wanted to have our kid on Christmas, and said she would only allow her to go on the 26th.

So we booked our flights on a red eye on the 25th and ended up missing 2 days of our vacation because of delays and missed flights.

My ex and I didn’t go through court to get a divorce, we went through mediation.

There is a contract of sorts that we have things outlined in, but our relationship is amicable, so we modify parts of it as situations arise.

Unfortunately a lot of those modifications are HER modifications to benefit her.

I go along with it most of the time because my kid asks me not to make a scene with her mom.

The only part of the contract that my ex stands concrete on is that she gets to see her on her birthday, which happens to be December 24th.

It also states that we alternate holidays, especially Christmas. That’s where the dilemma falls.

Sounds like the only contract she’s honoring is the one she wrote in invisible ink.

This year, my ex wants to take our kid on a vacation over Christmas.

She is planning the trip for the full 2 weeks our kid has off from school, which results in her being gone over Christmas.

I said I will not agree to let her go until after Christmas Day, as she did not allow it the last 2 years which cost us thousands of dollars.

She is calling me a jerk and saying I’m petty for “holding a grudge for something that doesn’t matter much.”

To add to this, my daughter’s favourite person in the world (my nephew) is coming to visit over Christmas, and she wants to spend time with him.

She’s fine with going after Christmas Day, but mom isn’t respecting her wishes on that either.

AITA for digging in my heels on this?

Redditors broke out their co-parenting scorecards for this holiday drama…

This person suggests not to die on this hill.

This person has an idea on how to avoid this for years to come.

And this person things what goes around comes around, right?

When co-parenting turns into a tug-of-war, someone’s bound to lose their grip.

These two seem to be at quite the impasse.

If you enjoyed that story, read this one about a mom who was forced to bring her three kids with her to apply for government benefits, but ended up getting the job of her dreams.