Handling gifts from in-laws can sometimes come with strings attached, even when the gift is money meant to be used as you see fit.

So, what if your in-laws sent you a generous check for Christmas and specified it was meant to buy gifts for every member of the family, but you wanted to use it for something more practical for the kids?

Would you stick to their wishes?

Or would you prioritize what works best for your family?

In the following story, one couple faces this exact predicament and is unsure if their decision crosses the line.

Here’s what’s going on.

AITA for not using my in-laws Christmas money in the way they specified?

I (36f) have been married to my husband (37m) for almost 8 years, and we have 3 kids under 7.

My husband’s family lives a 4-hour flight from us and in a location that is very difficult to travel to at Christmas time.

So it’s long been established that we don’t travel to them at Christmas time, and there are no hard feelings about this at all.

My mother-in-law used to send us Christmas packages with gifts, but as we’ve had more kids in the last 4ish years, she has just sent us a cheque and asked us to purchase gifts for our family on behalf of her and my FIL.

We always use this money for gifts for the kids, and we always tell the kids that those gifts are from their grandparents.

Honestly, because it’s a lump sum, it has been really great to get a larger ticket gift for them to share (as an example, we used it one year to buy them a Nugget play couch – something we otherwise wouldn’t have given them as a gift).

They try to use the money for only the kids, but the MIL doesn’t like that.

A couple of years ago, my MIL clarified that the money is also intended to be enough for my husband and me to buy gifts for each other “from them.”

This is honestly just a lower priority for us, and we told her one year that we didn’t need much for ourselves and had just used the money for the kids.

My MIL wasn’t thrilled about this, and then last year, when we were on FaceTime on Christmas morning, she asked us directly what gifts we had gotten each other from them.

We both improvised and showed gifts that we had just bought for each other and went through a bit of a show of thanking them for these gifts.

It felt a little silly.

Here’s the dilemma.

This year, the cheque has arrived and we really want to use it to get the kids in ski camps over the break, it’s the perfect amount for that.

I would just like to be honest with my ILs that this is what we are doing with their gift money instead of pretending that my husband and I are using it to get each other gifts, too.

However, given that she’s specified that she wants all 5 of us to get a gift “from them,” I’m not sure if this is okay.

I will add that my MIL and I have a solid and friendly relationship, but we are not particularly close.

AITA?

Eek! This could go either way.

Let’s see what advice Reddit readers have to offer.

Perfect solution!

This person suggests they tell her a white lie.

Here’s another good way to handle it.

As this person points out, they could gift themselves an “experience.”

What she doesn’t know won’t hurt her.

They should do, as others have mentioned, send the kids to ski camp and treat themselves to a night out.

If you liked that story, read this one about grandparents who set up a college fund for their grandkid because his parents won’t, but then his parents want to use the money to cover sibling’s medical expenses.