The stereotype of a grumpy old man is what comes to mind when I think of the father-in-law in today’s story.

The story is told from the daughter-in-law’s point of view, and she really thinks her father-in-law needs to apologize to her husband (his son). She’s thinking about forcing the issue but wondering if it’s a bad idea.

Let’s dive into all the details…

WIBTA if I don’t let FIL see his only grandchild until he apologized to his son (my husband)

My (30f) husband (30m) is the only child of his father (82m).

His parents have been divorced since he was 4 years old but still have a friendship relationship.

My FIL is old as I already mentioned and has the mindset of a typical retired man.

Her FIL’s health isn’t the best.

Over the last couple of years his health has started to slowly decline. He has prostate cancer which is luckily an easy battle, he’s getting more forgetful as you do with age and obviously can’t do the things a young person can.

He’s gotten slow and all that.

He is still able to live alone and my husband regularly does the shopping for him and helps him out with odd jobs he can’t do on his own or are too dangerous for him.

As of now he always comes by every week to hang out with us and our toddler who he loves very much obviously.

She describes him as petty.

The thing is, my FIL can be very petty.

He has lost many friends and his wife over the years because of his behaviour.

He has such strange expectations of people and if they don’t meet his expectations he doesn’t talk to them.

He has always been this way.

My father has known him for over 30 years and apparently he’s always been like that.

So the only thing he does all day is visit the doctor and stay at home all day since he has nobody to talk to.

It’s a different generation, I get it but still, it is mainly his own fault for being alone.

Her FIL was mad at her husband (FIL’s son).

Yesterday my husband had gone to his dads home to bring his shopping and he was immediately berated for not taking him to one of his gardens.

Basically last Saturday my MIL came to babysit and we took our big lawnmower and other tools to a garden in another village that belongs to my FIL and we cut the grass, bushes and trees.

That garden was my FIL passion over most of his adult life but can’t take care of it anymore for obvious reasons.

My husband and I did all the work and sadly didn’t get everything done cause it was getting late.

They had their reasons for not taking him with them.

When my husband told him about that yesterday he exploded, saying we should have taken him along with us.

Mind you, it was a very spontaneous decision cause the weather was good for that sort of work on Saturday and we had taken him along before but he had always been in the way.

And we would have to drive him home and such since he doesn’t have a car.

They don’t exactly enjoy taking care of the FIL’s garden.

My husband was obviously very upset about that argument.

He works full time and taking care of that garden is an extra thing that he doesn’t really like to do since it’s extra work.

We already have our own house and garden AND the one where his dad lives so that’s three gardens in total.

Also, we don’t pick any of the fruit from that garden or use it in general since we have our own. We literally only go to that garden to keep everything trimmed and healthy.

She wants her FIL to apologize.

FIL hasn’t apologized after that argument and he’s supposed to come to visit today.

I’m really thinking about only letting him inside the house and letting him see his only grandchild if he apologizes to my husband.

WIBTA if I don’t let FIL see his granddaughter until he apologizes?

I doubt that her FIL will ever change, but it doesn’t seem out of line to want him to apologize. I just don’t know that her FIL will apologize.

Let’s see how Reddit responded…

This reader thinks she needs to stay out of it.

Another person thinks her husband needs to decide what to do.

He probably won’t apologize.

He needs to be notified ahead of time.

Another reader agrees that they need to tell the father-in-law before he takes the bus to their house.

At his age, this battle might not be worth fighting.

If you liked that story, check out this post about an oblivious CEO who tells a web developer to “act his wage”… and it results in 30% of the workforce being laid off.