A marriage built on mutual agreements can face down challenges when life evolves.

That said, you always have to leave room for negotiations.

This husband thought he was clear about their roles as a sole earner and housewife, but the arrival of a baby has brought a tidal wave of arguments and unmet expectations.

Read on for the story.

AITA for asking my wife to do her responsibilities?

A little about me: I am 30, and my wife is 29.

Before we got married (we knew each other for three years), we decided I would be the sole earner, responsible for finances and taxes, while she would be a housewife, taking care of the kids and household duties.

We agreed she would never work, and I wouldn’t ask her to either.

In the first two years of our marriage, we didn’t have kids.

I worked from 8 am-6 pm.

Sometimes she’d wake up and make me breakfast, sometimes she wouldn’t.

I didn’t mind because we were early in our marriage.

On days she made breakfast, she would also pack me lunch.

On days she didn’t wake up early, I would eat both breakfast and lunch at work.

Ah, the casual life.

She would wake up around 12-2 pm, do household chores, and wait for me to come home.

We would have dinner together and spend time going out for movies, dinners, or visiting friends, at least twice a week.

This year, we had a baby.

I took one month of leave to help her, which is the maximum my job allows.

State leave was an option, because the subsidized pay wouldn’t cover our bills.

After my leave, her parents stayed with us for two months, helping with the baby.

I supported all the household bills during this time.

After they left, our baby was three months old, and this is when issues began.

My wife was used to her previous routine of waking up late and now found it difficult to manage caring for the baby and household chores.

Well, no kidding.

I offered to help by cleaning the first floor of our house and putting our baby to bed several times a week

This despite working from 8 am to 6 pm, handling all immigration paperwork, taxes, bills, and grocery shopping (since she doesn’t drive).

However, every day I come home, she seems angry or upset, often taking it out on me.

Sometimes it’s about the baby, sometimes it’s about me not helping enough around the house.

Today, we had an argument where I asked why she was consistently struggling with her responsibilities.

I acknowledged that she had an easier life in the first two years of our marriage because she didn’t work, but reminded her that we had planned for this baby and understood it would require more work.

Yes. Babies = work.

We had agreed she would be the primary caretaker and housewife, but now, she would not stop complaining and we can’t stop having fights.

Am I a jerk for asking her to fulfill her share of the household responsibilities?

Balancing work, parenting, and household duties is no small feat, but communication seems to be missing in action here.

Can this couple renegotiate their dynamic, or will they keep arguing in circles?

Reddit’s got opinions.

This person says he is the AH.

This person puts it into perspective.

And this person even more so.

Well, let’s all remember this lesson…

Babies change everything—including expectations.

If you liked that post, check out this story about a guy who was forced to sleep on the couch at his wife’s family’s house, so he went to a hotel instead.