January 16, 2025 at 3:15 pm

A Server Gives Coworker Honest Feedback About Her Chatty Southern Charm After Customers Complain, But It Leads To Hurt Feelings And The Silent Treatment

by Heather Hall

Source: Reddit/AITA/Pexels/Kampus Production

Giving honest feedback can be tough, especially when it’s not what someone wants to hear.

What would you do if a coworker asked why customers didn’t seem to like her, and you knew the real reason might hurt her feelings?

Would you sugarcoat it to spare her feelings?

Or would you just tell her the truth?

In the following story, one server finds herself struggling with this exact dilemma.

Here’s what happened.

AITA for telling my coworker why customers might not like her

I work at a restaurant as a server.

One of my coworkers moved up here from Georgia for college and started working here a few months ago.

She constantly lays on the “Southern charm” thing thick.

She calls everyone “honey” and “sweetie” and all of that.

She also tends to chit-chat with people instead of just letting them eat after bringing them their food or drinks.

It’s also kind of obvious that a lot of them don’t want to really talk to her; they give one-word answers, and she just barrels forward and talks at them.

(Management has told her off more than once for this)

She let her know exactly what might bother the customers.

About two weeks ago, she was upset because a customer yelled at her and said, “Don’t call me that!” when she called her “honey,” and she complained that she was not getting as many tips as the other servers.

She says it’s because she has a southern accent, and customers think she’s stupid, but I don’t think that’s the case.

She asked me for advice, and I said it was because she takes so long to bring things out and wastes time trying to make small talk.

I also said that the excessive pet names sound kind of condescending, and they aren’t really something you would call a stranger here.

Now, she’s upset, and they’re not speaking.

She told me that she wasn’t going to start being rude to customers because she would make even less money.

I told her it’s not being rude; it’s just how things work here, and it’s rude to other customers she’s supposed to be serving when she spends all her time trying to make small talk instead of doing her job and calling them weird things.

Now she’s mad and has been avoiding me.

Maybe I could have been gentler when trying to explain why people complain about her, but I was also really stressed because it’s the Christmas season, and so much is going on.

AITA?

Yikes! That’s a tough situation.

Let’s check out what the fine folks over at Reddit have to say about this.

This is interesting.

Source: Reddit/AITA

Here’s someone who’s girlfriend is similar.

Source: Reddit/AITA

According to this comment, she would ask her to stop.

Source: Reddit/AITA

Good point.

Source: Reddit/AITA

Someone needed to tell her.

Sure, it may hurt her feelings at first, but taking it seriously will help in the long run.

If you enjoyed that story, read this one about a mom who was forced to bring her three kids with her to apply for government benefits, but ended up getting the job of her dreams.