Several Coworkers Had A Tradition Of Going To Get Coffee Together, But When One Of The Coworkers Got Promoted He Expected Them To Bring Him Coffee Instead
by Jayne Elliott
Taking a coffee break with coworkers can be a great way to have a small, social outing in the middle of a busy work day, but what happens when one of the coworkers is too busy to take a coffee break?
In today’s story, one coworker is annoyed that his other coworkers aren’t bringing him coffee, but the other coworkers are starting to feel like DoorDash instead of his friend.
Let’s dive into all the details…
AITA for not getting my coworker’s coffee?
I started this job a month after him, and we became good acquaintances.
Over the next six months, I thought we were becoming friends—hanging out, having lunch, walking to our cars together, and interacting on social media.
But I noticed he only texted during work hours and never initiated contact outside work, so I dialed back and kept it professional.
They don’t hang out as much as they used to.
When I started full-time school with in-person classes, they stopped inviting me to hang out as much.
At first, it hurt, but I realized I was busy and couldn’t expect them to always include me. I figured this was just a work friendship and let it go.
After that, they didn’t really reach out, and then he got a promotion, moved departments, and became busier, so we barely talk now—just brief, surface-level interactions.
I understand this happens, but it’s important for context.
Their coffee traditions faded away.
The issue: When I first started, he had a Friday coffee tradition with another coworker. He invited me, and the three of us started going weekly.
This continued for months until we drifted apart.
Around then, he skipped coffee because he was sick, then too busy.
We picked it up for him a couple of times, and he paid us back, so it wasn’t a big deal.
But after his promotion, he stopped coming altogether, and it felt weird to keep asking if he wanted coffee since we weren’t close anymore.
He’s upset they got coffee without him.
One week, after several weeks of him saying no, I assumed he didn’t want any and didn’t ask.
He texted later, upset we didn’t check with him.
I felt bad at first, but then I thought about how he’d stopped inviting me to things. How was it fair for him to feel slighted when he had done the same?
OP would behave differently if the situation were reversed.
If roles were reversed, I’d never expect someone to get my coffee—I’d text them my order ahead of time, ask if it was okay, and pay upfront.
But he didn’t do any of that.
We’d have to ask, wait for his response (sometimes delayed), buy it, and then wait for the money.
This last time, he didn’t even pay me back.
For OP, it isn’t really about coffee or money.
It’s not about the money—it’s about feeling like DoorDash.
I wouldn’t mind doing it if it meant connection or good conversation, but lately, he just says “thanks,” takes the coffee, and gets back to work.
I get that he’s busy, but if you’re too busy to connect, why expect others to go out of their way for you?
OP is sad about this situation.
Maybe I’m being dramatic, but it feels like I’m being used.
More than that, I’m sad I lost a potential friend.
These work relationships mean a lot to me, especially as a neurodivergent person, since they’re often my main source of connection during the day.
I don’t want things to be awkward, but I also don’t want to feel like a personal delivery service.
He can get defensive when confronted, so I worry this will blow up. AITA?
Maybe it would’ve been best to ask the friend if he wants to keep the coffee tradition going or not. If he says “no,” then end of story. If he says “yes,” then set some ground rules like he needs to actually join them for coffee not just get it delivered.
Let’s see how Reddit reacted to this story…
It might be a good idea to look for friends outside of work.
This person offers a suggested response to the coworker.
He doesn’t seem like a very good friend.
The coworker sounds entitled.
The coworker needs help.
This isn’t a friendship worth pursuing.
If you liked that post, check out this story about a guy who was forced to sleep on the couch at his wife’s family’s house, so he went to a hotel instead.
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