Managing money between parents and their young adult children often requires a delicate balance of trust and independence.

While the daughter feels deprived by her mother’s handling of her social security, the reality may be more complex than she realizes.

Read on for the full story.

WIBTA if I filed to remove my mother as my payee on my social security?

My (37f) mother is my payee for my social security and has been since I was 15 (I am autistic), but the problem is I have barely seen a cent out of it.

She gives me (18f) about 20-40 dollars to shut me up whenever I complain or try to have a conversation about it.

She doesn’t listen and constantly goes on about a mistake I made at 15 — buying something I didn’t need with $200.

She thinks she deserves to have more control now. After all, she’s older and wiser.

I am more responsible now and have been working on researching how to get her removed from being my payee, as she is withholding my money.

Whenever I ask her to start me on an allowance, she disregards it and then acts like everything is fine.

I am sick and tired of basically begging for MY money.

So, WIBTA?

Maybe true independence comes from understanding the big picture.

What did Reddit have to say?

This commenter has a helpful suggestion.

This user argues that maybe the mother has a good reason for keeping the money.

This Redditor sides with the mother as well.

Instead of fighting about it, maybe the two can use this as a learning opportunity.

You can’t always get what you want, but sometimes you get what you need.

If you liked this post, you might want to read this story about a teacher who taught the school’s administration a lesson after they made a sick kid take a final exam.