You see your coworkers a lot, maybe even more than your family and friends.

Sometimes this amount of time together can blur the line between your personal and work lives.

See how this worker is unsure if she made the right boundaries.

AITA for making my coworker feel unwelcome after I set boundaries?

I worked closely with a coworker who, a few months in after starting, began leaning on me for emotional support about his depression and loneliness.

I initially offered validation and supportive advice, but it became emotionally draining.

She’s handling it delicately.

When he went on FMLA leave for mental health, he texted me again about feeling isolated.

I suggested actionable steps like joining clubs or using Bumble BFF, but he dismissed my ideas.

This led to a boundary-setting conversation. I wrote:

“Thanks for being honest with me, especially given our short time working together. I want to be transparent. I care about your well-being as a coworker, but i believe your therapist is the best person to guide you through this. i hope you can understand.”

He apologized, saying: “I know this is a lot and I know you didn’t sign up for any of this. I feel sooo bad about everything and hope we can still be friends once I start feeling better. I’m gonna give u some space from all of this.”

After that, he texted me twice while on leave (once ask how I was doing and once to let me know he was returning to work). I left both texts on read.

But it’s still awkward.

When he returned, I decided to keep our interactions strictly work-related.

Over the next few days, we didn’t talk except for one work-related question he sent via Slack, which I answered promptly.

He texted the following:

“Boss and I talked the other day about how he really wants the lab to be a welcoming and supportive environment for me. Several lab members have done such a great job creating a welcoming space for me as I return, and I would truly appreciate it if you could do the same.”

I’ve noticed that you’ve been quite avoidant toward me, which makes it harder for me to assimilate back into the lab and makes me feel unwelcome.

I understand this is a challenging situation to navigate, and by no means are you obligated to make me feel welcome, but it would mean a lot if you could try.

I also wanted to give you the opportunity to set boundaries to ensure that my mental health does not impact our ability to work together.

I think keeping conversations on Slack and work-related could be a good starting point, but please let me know if there are any other boundaries you’d like to establish.

The last thing I want is for tension between us to affect our work, so I really want to resolve this rather than avoid it.”

I replied over Slack:

“I saw your text. I’m glad to hear you’re doing better. I’m not sure if you tried to talk to me at lab and I missed it, but I’ve been really busy with lab work. It wasn’t my intention to avoid you. I believe I’ve set personal boundaries for my well-being, and I hope you can understand the need for that.”

I agree that keeping our conversations work-related is the best approach and I hope we can maintain a professional relationship moving forward.

He replied, “Thanks for your response and thank you for being mature about all of this.”

AITA for making my coworker feel unwelcome after I set boundaries?

Here is what folks are saying.

I hate that she thinks he owes him even that.

Yes and this is risky. Be careful.

He should know for sure.

My theory is that he doesn’t even want that. He’s trying to manipulate her.

Offices do have their drawbacks. Haha.

Another reason to support working from home.

As if we needed more.

If you enjoyed that story, read this one about a mom who was forced to bring her three kids with her to apply for government benefits, but ended up getting the job of her dreams.