February 3, 2025 at 2:55 am

Woman Is Going To Be A Bridesmaid In Her Fiancé’s Sister’s Wedding, But She Didn’t Know She Was Going To Be Expected To Pay For So Many Things

by Jayne Elliott

Source: Reddit/AITA/Shutterstock

Weddings are expensive, and we’re not just talking about the actual wedding day. We’re talking about a bridal shower, bachelorette party and other pre-wedding fun.

In today’s story, a bridesmaid is unhappy about how expensive it is to be a part of her fiancé’s sister’s wedding. She’s wondering what to do to stop the bride from expecting her to pay for so many things.

Let’s see what she’s expected to pay for…

AITA for refusing to cover outrageous costs for my future SIL’s bridal shower?

I (23F) am going to be a bridesmaid in my fiancé’s older sister’s wedding, which is set for October 2025.

While I’m excited to be part of her big day, I’ve been a bridesmaid before and know how expensive it can be.

The costs for this wedding are piling up quickly.

I’ve already paid $300 for the bridesmaid dress, the required shoes, and $1,000 for the destination bachelorette trip.

The trip is even more expensive than she originally thought it would be.

Initially, we were told there was no pressure to attend, but her mom later said it was rude that some bridesmaids were considering skipping due to the cost, so I felt pressured to go.

After we booked the trip, the maid of honor informed us that we would also be covering all of the bride’s costs during the trip—food, drinks, and anything else.

This was never discussed beforehand and added another unexpected expense on top of an already expensive trip.

Now there’s another expense the bridesmaids are expected to pay for.

My future MIL mentioned that, as a bridesmaid, I’m expected to help pay for the bridal shower.

She said she Googled it and found that the bridesmaids are responsible for the costs, not her as the mother of the bride.

In all the weddings I’ve been part of, the bridal shower costs were primarily covered by family or a family friend who volunteered to host it at their home.

The bridesmaids usually helped with smaller things like games and decorations.

The bride seems to have expensive taste.

I don’t mind contributing to the bridal shower, but it needs to be within reason.

With everything else I’ve already paid for, it’s becoming unmanageable—especially since I’m trying to save for my own wedding, which is planned for mid-2026.

My future SIL is expecting a fully catered bridal shower with elaborate décor, which feels unrealistic for a group of bridesmaids to fund.

It also seems like she’s picking things that aren’t even within her budget and assuming others will cover the difference.

This is the most she’s ever had to pay as a bridesmaid.

Am I the jerk for wanting to set boundaries around the bridal shower costs, especially when it feels like at every turn an unexpected expense comes up without any discussion?

I know weddings are expensive (as I am currently planning one), but how much is too much to ask your bridesmaids to pay?

In previous weddings I was a bridesmaid in, I would spend about $1,200 total!

In this case, that’s not even covering the bachelorette trip.

She knows the other bridesmaids are stressed about the cost too.

I do want to make this whole thing special for her, but it’s just starting to get very costly and I know the other bridesmaids are feeling the pressure too.

We are all young and just starting our careers.

The bridesmaids need to talk to the bride about setting a budget they can actually afford, or someone else needs to step up and pay for it. I can’t imagine expecting bridesmaids to pay for a trip and a bridal shower on top of their dress and expenses for the actual wedding.

Let’s see how Reddit responded to this story.

This is a good question.

Source: Reddit/AITA

The MIL is mistaken about the bridal shower.

Source: Reddit/AITA

Maybe she shouldn’t go on the trip.

Source: Reddit/AITA

She could try being honest with the bride.

Source: Reddit/AITA

Cancel the trip or have the fiancé pay for it.

Source: Reddit/AITA

I’m not sure I’d want to marry into this family.

If you enjoyed this story, check out this post about a daughter who invited herself to her parents’ 40th anniversary vacation for all the wrong reasons.