Raising a child with ADHD and ODD comes with challenges, especially when family members undermine progress.

This dad spent years working on his son’s eating habits, only for his great aunt to step in and sabotage it.

When he confronted her, the entire family erupted into chaos. Was he out of line, or was the family the problem?

Let’s see how the drama escalated so quickly.

AITA for making my son eat all of his food and arguing with his great Aunt that disagreed?

I (36m) adopted my wife’s two son’s and we have two of our own. Our oldest son is 11 and has always had special meals made for him.

I proposed that we try my families technique, we put the food out, if they don’t want it they can go and play, but that food gets put away for the next meal. This meal will be there for when they get hungry.

My in-laws and wife were opposed to this.

So I suggested that he goes to therapy. They diagnosed him with ADHD and ODD, gave him medications. They gave my wife instructions for healthier eating strategies and she just didn’t do any of it.

That’s a bigger issue than just picky eating!

Two years later I was fed up as a stay at home dad of 4 and battling the food thing. I told my wife I was taking over.

After a rough couple months where once a week I’d put a meal that wasn’t what he wanted, he’s eating whatever is put in front of him. He’s having vegetables and feeling proud that he’s overcoming the anxiety he’s had around food.

We went to his great grandparents house for lunch. I told him he’d need to have a spoonful of everything and as much of whatever he wanted. My wife made him a plate and she served less than a spoonful, but hey, not gonna fight that.

After eating most of it he complained that the salt was burning a cut on his lip and I told him to finish the last bites, it was a couple spoonfuls of cheesy potatoes and a tiny piece of ham.

Sounds like big process, albeit a bit rigid.

I then went outside to check on my other two boys. When I came back in I overheard my son’s great aunt bragging to my mother-in-law about how she just ate his food for him. She saw that I overheard and shut up real quick.

I then pulled my son aside asked him about it and he said that she said “you don’t have to eat that” he tried to to tell her that he had to and then she proceeded to eat it anyway.

I told him we were gonna go back in there and I’d give him a similar portion the small amount that he was supposed to eat.

Of course they got huffy, but didn’t say anything.

When he finished I sent all of the kids outside.

The adults were all talking, so I waited until there was a lull and said, “I didn’t think I’d have to say this, if you disagree with how I’m raising my son you can come talk to me, but I will not tolerate (looking at great aunt) you encouraging my son to disobey me.”

*Plays R-E-S-P-E-C-T.*

She just outright denied doing it.

I told her to shut up, that I heard her bragging about it and my son told me.

It went off the rails.

Her daughter yelled at me not to talk to her mother that way. My father in law yelled at me for being an atheist. My mother in law yelled at me saying my son’s ADHD and ODD are my fault.

His wife even turned on him.

My wife and her whole family is upset with me, but my son isn’t.

My wife thinks I should have waited to bring it up or I shouldn’t have said it with my “tone.”

I took time to calm myself, I got the kids out of the house and tried to set this boundary.

I don’t want any of her family around the kids until they apologize to my son and me. AITA?

Setting boundaries is one thing, but publicly calling out a family member (and telling them to shut up) was bound to escalate tensions. Still, the great aunt did overstep, and the rest of the family jumping in with unrelated attacks wasn’t exactly helpful either.

Honestly, Reddit can’t decide who’s the AH here, either.

This person says OP is NTA.

But this person says he is.

And this person says EVERYONE is.

Family dinners are often tense, but this one went nuclear.

If you liked that post, check out this story about a guy who was forced to sleep on the couch at his wife’s family’s house, so he went to a hotel instead.