Party planning can be a real pain, but bad communication FROM a party planner can cause even more pain.

Check out this story from Reddit user @Nutellaacrepes:

AITAH for not showing up and not paying her back for the reservation fee that I didn’t know about?

I recently made a new friend, and her birthday was last weekend.

She invited me and my husband to her party about three weeks in advance by adding me to a group chat.

However, my husband wasn’t added, so he assumed he wasn’t invited.

He also had a class that night, so he couldn’t attend anyway.

But he was wrong, apparently:

A few days later, I saw her in person, and she clarified that he was invited.

I told her I would let him know, but I also mentioned that he probably wouldn’t be able to make it due to his class.

The day before the party, she sent a message in the group chat saying we would meet at a restaurant at a certain time, and after dinner, we would hang out elsewhere.

I then messaged her separately to let her know I wouldn’t be able to make it for dinner but could attend the after-party, as I’d be spending time with my mother, whose own mother had just passed away.

She responded saying that was fine and sent me the location for the after-party.

Now comes the night of the party:

Unfortunately, something came up, and I couldn’t attend either event.

I apologized to her the day of and explained the situation.

And here’s the rub:

A few days later, she texted me saying that her friend had made a reservation for dinner and paid in advance per person, and now we owed her our portion for the reservation.

This was confusing to me because she never mentioned anything about a reservation fee or that someone was covering it in advance.

Additionally, my husband never confirmed he would be attending, so I didn’t feel it was appropriate to pay for both of us.

So what do we do now?

Had I known that a reservation fee was paid for my attendance and I didn’t show up, I would absolutely offer to cover my portion.

But given the circumstances, it feels unfair to ask me to pay.

I don’t want to cause any drama or lose her as a friend, but I’m feeling conflicted.

How should I approach this, and AITAH for not wanting to pay?

Let’s check in with the wisdom of the comments:

A lot of people were justifiably confused:

Like seriously, don’t spring surprise fees on people, we’re not all rich.

Not everyone was entirely sympathetic, though:

Moral of the story: if you’re expecting guests to cover some sort of fee, communicate about that beforehand.

LOTS of stories like this pop up when you don’t.

If you liked that story, check out this post about a group of employees who got together and why working from home was a good financial decision.