Letting a family member who is struggling live with you for awhile to help them out sounds like a nice thing to do.

But it’s not so nice when that family member is disrespectful and irresponsible.

In today’s story, the family member is a stepmom.

Her stepdaughter agrees to let her live with her family, but it doesn’t go well.

Now the stepdaughter is left wondering if she’s the one who messed up.

Let’s read the whole story to see how things went wrong.

AITA for backing up my husband who had told my stepmom to “Grow up or get out”?

I (34 F ) and husband (37 M) and stepmom (52 F)

My stepmom has been helping us out by babysitting my 2 children (2 and 5) and while me and my husband are very grateful, we are very upset with her.

My stepmom recently was divorced by my father.

My stepmom had no where to go so she had asked to stay with us.

They set some ground rules before her stepmom moved in.

I hadn’t had a great relationship with her for stealing stuff I had bought with my money when I was 17 however I decided to push past this and move on.

When she moved in, we went over rules and told her what her experience would look like.

She agreed to our rules, which included buying food for herself when necessary, although we did tell her we would mostly be buying stuff for her so she could get back on her feet.

They also agreed to pay her for babysitting.

Another rule we had was babysitting.

We would agree to pay her for babysitting our kids when we needed her so that she could make some money to get back on her feet.

We gave her our job contact info had she ever needed to call them if she couldn’t get ahold of us while we were at work.

The stepmom seems to think she has “power.”

Recently, we haven’t really been needing her to babysit but she has been insistent on paying for food items.

We went over the fact that this wasn’t needed and she replied that she wanted to feel like she had more power over us by paying for food.

I gently reminded her that this was our house and she was a guest in it to which she got mad.

She told me and my husband that “she has power over us” and how “she was my mom”.

I didn’t reply and just stopped talking to her.

Her stepmom agreed to babysit.

My husband had made plans with her that we would need her to babysit our kids this past Monday and she had agreed to it since we were both going to work.

I am at work when my work receives a call from my husband telling me that my stepmom called him saying that she was leaving to go party with her friends, and he was going back home to talk to her.

I agree that he is doing the reasonable thing since she has no concept of responsibility.

Then the stepmom called.

I then, while at work receive a call from my stepmom who had said that my husband said that she needed to grow up and gain responsibility or get out.

I, of course sided with my husband and she hung up.

The next morning, whilst driving home I noticed my stepmoms car wasn’t in my driveway and I asked my husband about it, to which he replied “she chose to get out”.

She’s wondering if she messed up.

I have been trying to reach my stepmom for days but she nor my step-sister (whom she moved in with) will hold a conversation with me and my stepmom will not apologize.

I’m starting to feel like the AH since neither of them will respond to me.

Did I overreact and overstep for basically kicking her out?

It sounds like the stepmom messed up.

Who claims to have “power” over someone when you’re living in their home?

Let’s see how Reddit reacted to this story.

She should stop calling her stepmom.

Here’s another vote for not calling the stepmom.

Let the stepmom be the one to call.

She doesn’t deserve attention.

Her stepmom isn’t her problem anymore.

And she has to be thankful for that.

If you thought that was an interesting story, check out what happened when a family gave their in-laws a free place to stay in exchange for babysitting, but things changed when they don’t hold up their end of the bargain.