Woman Offered To Pay Her Son’s Medical Bill, But When Her Husband Found Out He Was Furious She Didn’t Ask Him First
by Jayne Elliott

Reddit/Shutterstock
If you could afford to help your adult children if they were in a tight financial situation, would you help them?
If you’re married and and your spouse is their step parent, would you think it’s important for the step parent to have a say in this decision?
The woman in today’s story doesn’t think she should have to consult her husband, her children’s stepdad, if she wants to help her kids financially, but he disagrees.
Let’s read all the details.
AITA for sending my son money without asking my husband first?
I have been with my husband for over a decade and married for 5 years.
I have children from a prior relationship and they were teenagers when my husband and I got together so it’s definitely more of a “mom’s husband” situation than a stepdad one.
She explains how they separate and share their finances.
I manage the household finances.
We have a shared checking and savings, but we each have accounts individually as well.
I earn more than 4x what he does, so most of the funds in our joint accounts are contributed by me because our contributions are scaled based on income.
She helped out her oldest child.
My eldest recently had some employment challenges and didn’t have medical insurance for a few months.
During that time, I helped pay for his therapy from my individual savings.
He also needed some medical treatment and just received a bill for over a thousand dollars.
He’s just getting back on his feet after finding a new job, so when he told me about the bill, I offered to cover it.
She used the joint account.
While we were on the phone Thursday, I scheduled a transfer to him.
I intended to pay this from my individual savings accounts, but needed money from my account at a different FI to complete it.
I initiated that transfer and the funds will be in Monday so I transferred $700 from our joint savings account to complete the payment to my son.
Her husband wasn’t happy.
When I finished my phone call, I told my husband about my son’s bill and that I borrowed money from our savings and that the $700 would be deposited back on Monday from my other savings.
He immediately became angry saying that I should have checked with him first.
That I shouldn’t be sending my son money without talking to him first.
I disagreed stating that #1 I have no obligation to discuss how I spend my personal money.
#2 I will always help my children if I have the means to.
And #3 that it was only 2 business days before my money would replace our money.
He’s still mad and thinks he should have had a say but I truly don’t think I did anything wrong.
AITA for not asking him before sending the money?
I agree with her that her husband shouldn’t have any say in how she spends her money considering they have separate accounts and she plans to reimburse the joint account.
Let’s see how Reddit reacted to this story.
He might not’ve even noticed if she hadn’t told him.

This person suggests changing how they pay the bills.

Another person is completely on her side.

Her husband can’t tell her how she can spend her money.

He was completely out of line.
No one likes a controlling king.
If you thought that was an interesting story, check this one out about a man who created a points system for his inheritance, and a family friend ends up getting almost all of it.
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