When co-parents don’t agree, things get tense.

This dad watched his ex take a hands-off approach to parenting—and saw their son suffer for it.

After trying to stay quiet, he finally said what he really thought… and now he’s the bad guy?

Check out the details and decide for yourself.

AITAH for telling my exwife that her parenting choices are hurting our son?

I (34m) have shared custody of my 4 year old son with my ex wife (32f), we are 50/50 and do a week on week off schedule.

Lately I’ve been noticing some behavioral changes, which I expect to an extent, he is a toddler.

But his school is noticing these things as well and has brought the issue up with me, saying they also told his mom and she doesn’t see anything wrong.

He REFUSES to do anything he doesn’t want to do (like if he doesn’t want to wash his hands after playing outside before eating) and will barely do anything at all for himself.

Which is very different from how he usually acted.

Well clearly SOMETHING is going on.

He won’t even put away his own water bottle or throw away his own plate, which is expected of the kids.

He wants his teachers to do it and at home he screams if I or his stepmom won’t do it for him.

He also will throw an absolute fit if we don’t get a toy when we go to the store.

Like to the point where I will take him out of the store because he’s screaming that he wants one.

From what he says, and what I have heard from my ex-wife’s sister (we’re still good friends and they’re close) my ex does EVERYTHING for him at home and doesn’t follow through with any consequences she says.

And every time they go to the store, she buys him at least one toy or stuffed animal.

And there it is.

I brought these things up with her because as he tests boundaries and starts learning how to you know, function as a person, those choices and the differences in how we parent in that regard aren’t doing him any good.

I want us to get on the same page as much as possible to make it easier for him growing up.

When I tried to talk about it with her she got so defensive and I told her all I was trying to do is work together because we’ll be responsible for raising him together for at least the next 14 years.

It’s not his fault we didn’t work out.

She decided to tell me that it was very clearly my fault and any behavior issues he’s having are because I’m too strict.

That she should have primary custody because I’m raising him to be a toxic boy just like I am.

Ouch.

So I told her the choices she was making in her parenting aren’t doing him any favors and if she keeps going, we’re going to hear about his issues at every school conference and he’ll be too dependent and entitled.

Then I said when she’s ready to have a serious parenting conversation to give me a call, and I started to leave.

As I left she called me a coward for walking away and I should just go all out and walk out of his life.

Before I lost my temper at that, I left.

For the rest of the night she was texting me about how horrible it was for me to treat her that way and she hopes he grows up to be nothing like me and I just proved I’m an a******.

Double ouch.

Hearing all that hurt me and I’m struggling to see if I was the a****** in the interaction.

But I wanted to get some opinions from impartial strangers because I’m really just trying to do what I can to not punish our son for our choices as adults.

Any thoughts?

He didn’t scream, he didn’t shame—he just called out what he saw.

If that’s an attack, maybe the real issue isn’t his tone.

This person says NTA at all, and has some advice.

This person says the ex is definitely screwing this kid up.

And this person says to collect all the data and go to court. Now.

If telling the truth is harsh, maybe the truth hurts!

But that doesn’t make it any less true.

If you enjoyed that story, read this one about a mom who was forced to bring her three kids with her to apply for government benefits, but ended up getting the job of her dreams.