Marriage vows? Broken. Family? Shattered.

Now, the man who cheated wants his ex-wife to send their son down the aisle at his wedding—to the guy he had an affair with.

When she refuses, she’s the one getting backlash.

Did she mess up, or did he push her too far?

Let’s read the whole story.

AITA for refusing to let my son be the ring bearer at my ex-husband’s wedding to the guy he cheated on me with?

I (30F) was married to my ex-husband, Art (31M), for eight years.

We had what I thought was a picture-perfect marriage and share a wonderful 6 year old son, Jayce.

However, everything fell apart when I discovered Art had been having an affair for a year with Ray (28M), the younger brother of his best friend, Nick.

The affair went on for a year before she found out.

Ray had grown up in a different country, so none of us had really met him until New Year’s Eve 2020.

That was apparently the night they hit it off.

A year later, I found messages on Art’s laptop text after text, full of romance and explicit photos.

When I confronted him, he didn’t even try to deny it. He just paled and said, “I guess we need a divorce.”

No apology, no attempt to fix things, nothing.

This would be really hard to do.

Our divorce was finalized in 2021, and we now share custody of Jayce.

Since then, I’ve had to watch Art and Ray not only stay together but also integrate into our tight-knit friend group and family.

It’s been brutal, but I’ve done my best to keep things civil for the sake of my son.

Talk about awkward!

Fast forward to last month February at one of our occasional brunches with our friends and Art’s parents.

Art and Ray announced their engagement.

Most people were excited, but a few gave me awkward looks, probably wondering how I was feeling.

Then, as they started discussing wedding plans, Ray casually said he wanted Jayce to be their ring bearer.

Well THAT is not going to fly.

I didn’t even think before I reacted. I just blurted out, “HECK no.”

The whole table went silent.

Then, years’ worth of bottled-up emotions just spilled out of me. I snapped, “I will not have my son be the ring bearer at your freaking wedding, Ray.”

And then I stormed out.

That was hardly “trivial.”

One of my friends followed me, but the rest just sat there, stunned.

Since then, I’ve been getting messages saying I shouldn’t have “caused a scene” over something “so trivial” and that I should apologize to Ray.

Now that I’ve had some time to cool down, I’m wondering if I overreacted. Was I the jerk?

Imagine being betrayed, forced to watch your ex flaunt his new relationship, and then being told to play nice for the wedding. Some call it co-parenting; others call it emotional warfare.

Reddit just calls it NTA.

His person is on OP’s side.

This person says NTA, but that she may not have a choice in the matter.

This person says Ray is the one who needs to apologize, not OP!

That was a bold move!

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