Money can be a sensitive subject.

In this man’s case, his fiancé disagreed when he proposed they split finances based on how much each one earns.

He was pretty harsh about it, too.

Now that he called off the wedding, he is second-guessing himself.

Let’s analyze the situation.

AITA for cancelling my wedding after my fiance insisted we split all finances?

I (28, M) and my fiance (30, M) have both been dating for around two years.

Coming from a culture that didn’t approve of same sex unions, I never envisioned myself marrying and starting a family.

I was ecstatic when my fiance proposed to me a few months ago.

However, post his proposal, our relationship dynamics changed quickly in a lot of aspects, one such aspect being finances.

His fiancé’s take on it was a dealbreaker for him.

Previously, we would both pay alternatively on dates etc.

There would be days when he would pay and spoil me, and there would be days where I would pay and treat him.

This was never something that we talked about but we were both comfortable with this arrangement and it never caused any issues.

However, after the proposal, we started talking about buying a house, moving in together and starting a family.

Everything sounded great, until they discussed money.

During this conversation, he made it clear that he wants all finances going into the joint account to be split evenly.

Now this would ordinarily not be a point of concern for me, if it weren’t for the fact that our pay grades varied significantly.

This entails a few things.

I am not comfortable sharing our real salaries, so I am going to give hypothetical numbers to explain the situation.

For example, lets say I make around 5000 a month but he makes 20k, that’s quite a significant difference of pay grades.

With the 50-50 proposal he made, if I were to contribute 2k a month (for example) to our joint account, thats 40% of my income.

Whereas for him, the 2k is just 10% of his income.

He expressed his concern to his fiancé.

I told him that this is not fair, and will put a burden on my personal income and savings.

It’s not an equal division if the amount is the same for both of us, as I will clearly be losing a bigger chunk of my salary.

I told him that for it to be equitable, either I too should be allowed to contribute 10% of my salary i.e; 500.

Or he should also contribute 40% of his salary = 8000.

He said that this is crazy, that I am being unfair, unreasonable and weird by trying to make him pay more into our joint account.

It became a sore point of discussion in their relationship.

We tried speaking over it multiple times, but it always ended up in an argument.

His friends and family too went nuts when they got to know of this.

They called me many things, including a gold digger and accused me of trying to freeload off of him.

I am aware that our pay grades and lifestyles are different, but it was never really a problem up until now and we loved each other regardless.

After this, things changed between them.

Now I am starting to feel like his friends and family who are all well off have always looked down on me and its all coming out now.

My fiancé has not budged either and in every conversation we try to have he has made it clear he reflects the sentiments of his friends and family.

He believes I am trying to get away with contributing less to our lives together to live off of him.

He lowkey called him a ‘gold digger,’ and that’s a huge red flag.

These accusations and endless arguments have been extremely hurtful to me so I ultimately decided to call off our wedding.

I don’t intend to live with someone who looks down on me and buys into the narrative of his closed ones when they called me a literal leech.

I don’t really think I was being unreasonable when I said that dividing by a certain percentage makes more sense than keeping a fixed amount, given the drastic difference in our earnings.

AITA?

I don’t know why his fiancé was so quick to judge and argue instead of trying to understand where he was coming from.

Maybe it was better this way, or maybe they need couples therapy before tying the knot.

Let’s see what Reddit has to say about this.

A reader shares their thoughts.

This commenter shares their point of view.

This person sums it up.

This person has a different take.

Another reader chimes in.

An…interesting…take.

Money issues can indeed make or break a relationship.

It seems that this conversation revealed who his fiancé really is.

If you thought that was an interesting story, check out what happened when a family gave their in-laws a free place to stay in exchange for babysitting, but things changed when they don’t hold up their end of the bargain.