Divorces can get messy, especially when an affair’s involved.

But in this story, a child of divorce feels like Mom not only cheated on Dad… but also on her kids.

Let’s investigate.

AITA for rejecting my mom and refusing to forgive her and telling her she chose to be there for her affair partner’s kids over her own so she needs to deal with it now?

I’m pretty frustrated right now but I want to know if people think I’m being unfair.

Two years ago my dad, my brother (13m) and I (16m) found out mom was having an affair.

It shouldn’t have surprised any of us.

For over two years she was always busy and let us down so many times.

She was so involved before.

Mom really dropped the mom-ball here.

But she stopped showing up and supporting me when I was competing in swimming and she stopped asking about it.

She flaked on me every time I wanted to do our record store browse, which we did since I was 5 and she never said no before.

But maybe she had her reasons?

She dropped the cooking classes she did with my brother and didn’t show up for his talent shows (he’s a musician).

I have asthma and she stopped answering calls from the school nurse to pick me up.

My dad had to leave work a bunch of times and it made him mad because mom was a SAHM and I was one of her reasons.

Alright, well that seems like actual negligence, right?

But she didn’t even take that seriously.

It turned out when she was busy doing stuff, it meant she was busy cheating or playing mom to the guy’s two kids.

Ouch, that stings.

She was bonding with them and filling in for the mom they didn’t have.

She put them before her own kids.

Not just the guy she cheated with, but those kids too.

The whole thing makes me so angry.

Understandable.

When we found out, I thought she was disgusting for all of it.

She didn’t just cheat on Dad, but she was picking the guy’s kids over her own.

She prioritized her affair and the children the affair partner had.

Mom denied that she did it and she told me and my brother she hadn’t cheated on us.

And she told us we shouldn’t hate her or pull away from her when the adult business, meaning her marriage, wasn’t our business.

Mmm, but like… a teenager is gonna take divorced parents personally.

When my parents first started their divorce we were ordered by a judge to stay with mom 50% of the time.

I hated it.

Of course. New family? No thanks.

She tried to integrate us with the guy and his kids but I made it clear I’d never accept them.

Mom asked us to give them a chance and she forced us all to hang out as if we were some kind of family, which is a freaking joke.

By the time the divorce was over, the judge said I didn’t need to see her that much and I only need to go one weekend a month.

As of last month, the judge said I still need to go once a month and being 16 doesn’t mean I get to stop going like I want.

Still a minor, but with a major problem.

For the past year my mom has started to realize how much I hate her now and she tries to reach out and fix it.

I reject her every time and I have called her names and told her to stay away from me.

I told her she’s gross and I want nothing to do with her.

Her affair partner (who she’s now married to) tried to berate me for talking to her like that and I told him he’s nothing to me so why would I care about his opinion.

He wants me and my brother to never go to the house, because we make his kids feel bad by refusing to spend time with them and avoiding them.

So Mom tried to talk to me and she begged me to forgive her.

She told me she’d do anything.

I told her it’ll never happen.

I said she chose another person’s kids over us and we remembered that.

I told her she was with those random children when I needed her.

She left me in school with breathing issues so she could play mommy to another woman’s kids.

I told her she destroyed our family, broke Dad’s heart and failed as a mother when she was screwing around and she needed to accept her choices cost her us.

Actions do have consequences, even 16 year olds know that.

Mom said she wanted to make it up and I said unless she took it all back and didn’t put those kids first then she couldn’t.

She broke down and told me I wasn’t being fair and she was a good mother for a lot longer than she was a slightly absent one.

The topic came up in therapy and my therapist pushed me to forgive and reconcile with my mom.

I don’t really like her because she’s really pushy about that stuff and has spent all the time we’ve been in these sessions telling me I only have one mom and to remember the good.

Dad wanted me to change therapists, but Mom blocked it because she’s hoping this lady will make me have a change of heart.

Feels manipulative.

But the therapist is really pressing it and I know she’s a professional.

I just don’t want the stuff she mentions about having a family and accepting Mom for who she is and all that crap.

AITA?

It’s true most people only have one mom, but that doesn’t necessarily mean she’s a good one.

What do our commenters think?

This person says, Mom made her choice, you make yours.

Another comment offers apologies first.

Another person blames the therapist here.

Yep, this poster points the finger at the therapist too.

This comment upvotes chosen family.

It’s not so easy to forgive and forget when your mom chooses new kids over you.

This woman’s behavior was appalling.

If you enjoyed that story, read this one about a mom who was forced to bring her three kids with her to apply for government benefits, but ended up getting the job of her dreams.