Dating someone who doesn’t have the same interests that you have is okay, but it’s important to find things that you enjoy doing together.

In today’s story, one couple goes hiking together even though the girlfriend enjoys it much more than the boyfriend. Now the boyfriend wants the girlfriend to plan a trip that he would enjoy more.

Should she take on the planning responsibility for something she won’t enjoy, or should he plan it himself?

Let’s read the whole story.

AITA for only planning my own hobbies?

I (36f) have been with my partner for 7 years (29m).

I introduced him to my outdoor hobbies, mainly hiking and mountaineering and he seemed to enjoy it.

I’m disabled and can struggle on the walks, but I enjoy the experience no matter how difficult.

He finds the walks extremely easy, even on aretes and scrambles.

He told her how he really feels about hiking.

We started exploring some other hobbies together, like rock climbing, archery and paddleboarding.

He really fell in love with paddleboarding but I find it interferes with my health too much to find it enjoyable. Carrying the paddleboards is extremely difficult, and we rely on public transport.

He recently revealed he doesn’t enjoy hiking, he just “enjoys my enjoyment” but had no real interest.

We took on the Wainwright challenge of 214 peaks years before he told me this, and we’ve slowly been working our way through them.

He wants her to plan paddleboarding trips.

I try to plan a few every year, weather and health dependent.

Last year, he blew up at me after I got too excited about travelling through the mountains I love to climb, and said I’m selfish because I only plan for my own hobbies.

I told him he is welcome to plan paddleboarding and whilst I may not join in, I’ll come along.

He said he’s no good at planning, but because I enjoy planning (I have suspected adhd and lists/admin have a calming/slowing effect on my thoughts), and often make detailed plans of things that aren’t possible for me to do, but I would love to do in an alternative reality.

He’s not very good at planning.

I explained I enjoyed making my own plans, but they’re still mentally taxing and it’s difficult to do for an activity I’m not fully engaged with.

He said if I can make plans I know I’m never going to follow through, I can plan for a day paddleboarding.

He does struggle to make plans, especially with the detail needed and finding all of the correct information and current laws (a lot of outdoor hobbies flirt with trespass and depend on animal law, which changes each season)

He said he has always supported me through my hobbies and hiking, helping me pay for travel and any additional things i need because of disability, and just wants his hobbies to matter too.

AITA for only planning my own hobbies?

If he’s willing to go hiking with her even though he doesn’t enjoy it, maybe she could be willing to plan a paddleboarding trip even though she doesn’t enjoy it. Relationships have give and take.

Let’s see how Reddit reacted.

Here’s the perspective of another person with ADHD.

Maybe she could help him learn how to plan.

He needs to plan his activities himself.

If she agrees to plan his activities for him, he’ll never want her to stop.

If he wants to do it badly enough, he can plan it.

If you liked that post, check out this story about a guy who was forced to sleep on the couch at his wife’s family’s house, so he went to a hotel instead.