One woman has been in a committed relationship for three years, and on paper, it checks all the boxes—shared values, strong connection, and a supportive extended family.

But there’s one major roadblock: the kids.

They’ve been distant and openly unwelcoming from the very beginning.

Despite therapy, time, and gentle efforts to ease the tension, they still won’t even look her way.

Now, she’s questioning if this relationship has a future—especially when she dreams of becoming a mom herself.

AITA for considering ending my relationship because my partner’s kids clearly don’t like me or want me around?

I (31f) started dating Mark (34m) 3 years ago.

Mark is a single dad to a 14 year old son and a 12 year old daughter.

The mother of Mark’s children died 11.5 years ago.

He dated very little after her death before we met but had dated some.

I was his first relationship after the passing of his late partner.

As a couple we work well together and share a lot of the same values and goals in life.

We can have fun together but have been able to discuss the serious stuff.

I get along well with his family but not his kids.

From the start (2ish years now) they have been cold and unwelcoming.

Mark has spoken to them, he told me they’re in therapy and he has encouraged them to give me a chance.

But they can’t hide the fact they don’t want me around.

That’s a tough one.

We have gone slow and have tried to find ways to ease the tension and show I’m not a bad person or here to take their dad from them or replace their mom.

Nothing works.

We never tried therapy together but I don’t even live with them and I’m not sure how willing they would be to speak in any therapy sessions with me.

My partner has spoken to a therapist and has done some therapy with his kids and implemented suggestions given but those methods were a waste of time.

Nothing changed.

I know these things take time. I don’t expect sunshine and rainbows overnight.

But the more time we spend together the more I feel his kids dislike of me.

Even when I’m just there and not trying to engage and existing in the same house as them the tension can be felt.

They ignore me. Won’t even look at me.

Yet they still radiate tension.

You could cut the tension with a knife.

I know my partner’s family have talked to the kids about giving me a chance.

I don’t know if that helps or makes it worse.

I feel like we’re facing a reality of they might never accept me or like me.

Now I’m considering ending this relationship because I want to be a mom and I don’t want to wait too long.

And even if I waited until his kids were out of the house then how would that be fair to have kids who’d have half siblings who would refuse to have anything to do with them or who won’t even speak to their mom?

My partner and I talked about it.

He said he’ll understand if it’s too much.

We’re taking some time so I can think.

That’s gonna take quite a bit of brain power.

Since this his sister reached out to me after I didn’t show to a couple of things and asked if things were okay and she told me she hoped she wasn’t intruding too much but she wanted me to know how happy I made her brother and how nicely I fit with the family and she understands the kids aren’t too welcoming but it would be such a shame for me to walk away.

It made me feel bad because I know my partner is a good guy and his family have been amazing.

But his kids will always be his kids.

And I don’t know if I could let us come between them or if I could handle living with them always disliking me.

AITA?

Many agreed that love alone can’t fix incompatibility with the people who’d be in her daily life, especially if she dreams of being a parent herself.

This person said it might be worth it to just move on.

This person said OP has to do what’s right for her.

This person agrees that babies would make it worse, and leaving is the better option.

Sometimes love just isn’t enough.

That’s the sad truth.

If you enjoyed that story, read this one about a mom who was forced to bring her three kids with her to apply for government benefits, but ended up getting the job of her dreams.