May 5, 2025 at 10:20 am

Man Wants To Find Out If He Has Autism Or ADHD, But He’s Upset That His Wife Talked About His Concerns At Her Doctor’s Appointment

by Jayne Elliott

male doctor talking to a female patient

Shutterstock/Reddit

There’s no way to know for sure if you have autism or ADHD unless you get tested and diagnosed.

If you wanted to get tested, would you be upset if someone close to you told your doctor that they didn’t think you needed to get tested?

Or would you not worry about it and assume that the doctor is a professional and will get you tested anyway?

In today’s story, one man is worried about what his wife said to their doctor about him when he wasn’t there.

Let’s read the whole story to see if his concerns are valid or if he overreacted.

AITA for yelling at my wife for discussing my mental health with our GP during *her* appt?

I recently went to a new GP.

During the appointment I requested a referral to a specialist to have myself evaluated for Autism or ADHD or another ASD.

I came in to that appointment with a bulleted list of things I have experienced throughout my life that pointed towards what I suspect is some for of ASD.

Meeting was fine, he seems to have taken my concerns seriously, ordered some labs, said he’d begin the referral process and said come back in a month.

I then told my wife about the referral request after my appointment.

His wife admitted to talking about him behind his back.

Today, my wife went to the same GP as a brand new patient too.

After she came home she admits they talked about my request for a referral without my knowledge or consent.

My wife said she expressed skepticism about my suspicions of ASD to my GP, and the GP said something along this lines of everyone is a little ADHD these days.

This was all disclosed to me after the fact, and my wife admitted that she smirked to the GP when she was discussing my concerns.

He’s pretty concerned about what his wife did.

My wife has permission to receive my medical information in my paperwork, but the two of them informally discussing my health situation without me there, and during her appointment seems like a grey area.

I also worry there is an element of sabotage.

I don’t want my GP to not give me a referral I requested because my wife undermined the seriousness of my concerns.

My GP has not yet given the referral, and I have no indication that he will not give it, but I still worry.

They got into an argument about it.

I yelled at my wife saying how it feels really gross for them to have discussed this when she was there as a patient, not my wife representing me.

My wife is acting like I’m nuts for being displeased about the fact that not only were they discussing my medical concerns when that was not the purpose of the visit, but also that she admitted to framing my concerns as unserious to my GP.

She says that she’s aware of many Doctors who discuss their patient’s information with the patient’s spouses during the spouse’s own visits, as her family has many physicians in it, but I’m skeptical if that has any validity.

AITA?

This sounds like a potential breach of patient doctor confidentiality.

I’d be upset too.

Let’s see how Reddit reacted to this story.

This person doesn’t think the GP did anything wrong.

Screenshot 2025 04 22 at 4.49.32 PM Man Wants To Find Out If He Has Autism Or ADHD, But Hes Upset That His Wife Talked About His Concerns At Her Doctors Appointment

Another person finds the situation “bizarre.”

Screenshot 2025 04 22 at 4.49.53 PM Man Wants To Find Out If He Has Autism Or ADHD, But Hes Upset That His Wife Talked About His Concerns At Her Doctors Appointment

This person describes the wife’s behavior as “sabotage.”

Screenshot 2025 04 22 at 4.50.15 PM Man Wants To Find Out If He Has Autism Or ADHD, But Hes Upset That His Wife Talked About His Concerns At Her Doctors Appointment

It would be a good idea to find a different doctor.

Screenshot 2025 04 22 at 4.50.45 PM Man Wants To Find Out If He Has Autism Or ADHD, But Hes Upset That His Wife Talked About His Concerns At Her Doctors Appointment

His wife shouldn’t have talked about him behind his back.

But it’s probably not that big of a deal in the long run.

If you liked that post, check out this story about a guy who was forced to sleep on the couch at his wife’s family’s house, so he went to a hotel instead.