Even the best intentions can get lost in translation when emotions run high and plans go sideways.

What should’ve been a simple birthday dinner became a game of emotional telephone where everyone heard what they wanted, but no one really listened.

You’ll want to read on for this one.

AITA for not attending my own 18th birthday dinner?

I (18) had my birthday a little over a month ago, but recently had a conversation with my dad that made me wonder whether or not I’m the AH.

On the day of my birthday, I had a meeting for an extracurricular after school. At the time, I didn’t have my license, so I relied on my girlfriend for a ride home after the meeting.

Plans were changing left and right.

My mom, who’d been sick, texted me as we were leaving the school that she and my stepdad wouldn’t be coming because they didn’t want to expose anyone to whatever she had, and that we would have dinner together at a later point.

I then texted my dad that we’d have to reschedule because my mom’s sick.

So they decided to celebrate another way, but not everyone was happy with the change in plans.

My wonderful girlfriend decided to take me to get fast food so we could do something small to celebrate, and about five minutes later we were pulling into the parking lot and he called me.

He immediately started yelling at me that I was horrible for canceling and that they were already at the restaurant, saying that “that’s not how you treat people.”

Their father offered alternatives, but they weren’t interested in taking him up on them.

He said that even though my mom and stepdad couldn’t take me to the restaurant (about 30 minutes from our house), I could just tell my girlfriend to drop me off.

I just listened to him yell for a couple minutes, said “Okay,” and hung up, and texted him an apology for canceling.

I felt it would be unfair to ask her to drop me off there because of how far it was, especially on such short notice.

I sat in the car for 20–30 minutes in silence trying to process what had happened, and my girlfriend went to get our food.

In the wake of the incident, tensions are still high between them and their father.

Fast forward to this week, my dad and I had a conversation in which he talked about how that day was the biggest betrayal he’s ever experienced and how he sat in the restaurant crying because his oldest child was turning 18 and he wasn’t there.

He said that my birthday dinner wasn’t for me but for my parents to experience me turning 18, and that he didn’t have any interest in going to a new dinner to celebrate.

AITA?

There’s far too little clarity here and way too much resentment.

What did Reddit have to say?

This user finds the father’s behavior an overreaction at best.

On the other hand, perhaps they could have done a better job communicating with their father.

This commenter thinks the situation could have been handled better by all.

This commenter doesn’t really buy the story at all, as it stands.

Communication is key, always.

If you liked this post, you might want to read this story about a teacher who taught the school’s administration a lesson after they made a sick kid take a final exam.